h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Didn't sleep well and am consequently feeling awful. TomCat was purring away by midnight while I read till 1am. How can HE sleep so easily when he's got as many worries as me? Not fair. Was still awake worrying at 2, so I thought what the hell, took a sleeping tablet, plugged myself in to personal cd player and tried to soothe self with Hildegard von Bingen, did the 'heat' crossword, listened for a while and must have eventually dropped off. Now I'm a bit dozy, TomCat has gone to his first day at a new temping job and I'm still worrying. He's refusing to tell his parents today as apparently there are too many stressful things already - namely, new day at work, and the Liverpool/Chelsea match tonight. He did have an appointment with his psych but that got postponed at the last minute until tomorrow. WHich means, I guess, that he won't tell them tomorrow, ecause that's another stressful event!

I could scream.

Cat x

I was actually mulling this over last night in bed.

Are you sure that T's parents don't know? Would nobody have said to them that they had seen X with a baby and them have put 2 and 2 together? If T was ill they could have decided not to mention it, although you would have thought (hoped) that they would have contacted X.

The other thing that I was thinking was that if they're not aware of the child and got a letter asking T to contact X urgently, they could be worrying about nasty diseases.

Not very helpful, just a couple of thoughts about it

Frustrating as it may be for you Cat - and I know how bluddy frustrating it can be when someone's not doing something you think they should - maybe you should just try to accept that TomCat is doing this his way? It is, after all, his son, and his parents will find out at some time anyway.

Sorry, this is not meant to sound preachy, but IF you can just accept it then it might help you sleep and keep your blood pressure down

Perhaps TomCat just needs a bit more time to adjust to the idea before telling other family members? Maybe he's going through the ostrich phase: if he doesn't tell his parents, it isn't happening. But you know that he can't keep up the ostrich act forever, and there will come a point when he HAS to take his head out of the sand in that respect - it's not something that will drag on and on forever - so just let him carry on for now.

This is horribly garbled.

Bex

Hi DKB, how incredible that someone was thinking of my problems! Bringing tears to my eyes.

Yes, we can be certain his parents don't know. It was a very brief relationship, and they never even met her as far as I can tell (they didn't recognise her name). He didn't even recognise her name (remember the mental illness, but he remembers her now, though not the bit about pregnancy! weird). As for what they are thinking about the note, I agree, they could be thinking anything. Bearing in mind the above, when he told me about the note, before he phoned, I was convinced it was to tell him an old friend has died. That's possibly what his parents think, or perhaps it could be disease. I don't know.

However, as Bex says, it's not my news to tell them, and I am trying really hard to accept his decisions. I'm trying to concentrate on my major problem - that of my thesis, which has hit a brick wall moment right now!

Thanks again. Cat x

It's just a wonder that I remember what I was thinking!

Ah well, as you say it's TC's problem to sort out as he will.

Good luck with the thesis

I think (know) that my mum would have been in touch by now to see what was going on!

His dad has been in touch to see what was going on. TC lied and said he hadn't yet phoned, but that he would do so...