h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

has now set in. Chuffing TomCat is refusing to tell his parents about his son. Well, he'll have to tell them sometime soon, as when we go down for First Meeting we'll be staying with them, but he's wimping out for the moment. I can understand why he's not told them up till now. They went to visit his brother, s-i-l, Nephew and New Niece yesterday (don't visit often due to distance) and TomCat didn't want to overshadow that happy visit with his own news. I think that's very thoughtful of him, especially considering he was the troublesome son for a lot of time (see depression & associated mental illness) and his bro kind of mooched along in the background.

But he keeps putting off telling them. Pesky man. I can't explain why I think he should tell them, it's just one of those things! Cat x

Well for one thing, the chances are they would be glad of another grandson and for the boy it would be an added bonus to have grandparents like everybody else and to be taken for treats and to have a secure place at a safe remove form their genitors.
I speak as a grandmother (have I said?) : few grandparents can resist grandchildren and we have a much more hands-on role today. It might actually help yur O/H cope better. It was a mistake, or a muddle, not a crime.

Yes, Martine, I can tell you're besotted with your grandchildren! TomCat is going to tell them - he just keeps putting it off.

Another thing I can't understand is related to when we can go down so he can meet the little boy. Depending on when I get out of plaster it could be one of two weekends either side of a wedding we're attending. While I would rather go sooner, to stop all this worrying and get it over and done with, he doesn't seem as desperate as I am. He said he'd rather go the later of the two weekends. What is wrong with him?!?! And he seems unwilling to talk about it.

Cat x

Hi Cat, perhaps he's trying to delay the meeting because he's worried about how it will go - and because the longer he waits the longer before he has to really face the reality of a son. Until he actually meets him, it's not real, and he can either not really accept it, or else he can imagine his son to be as he wants. Very frustrating for you though.

Much the same might go for telling his parents - or does he want to tell them face to face? It'll be a difficult call to make - but he'll have to tell them sometime... I'm with you on the getting it over with - but it's never so easy to do,

hugs to you, hope it gets easier

hebe

I think you're right, in that by delaying it all it's less 'real'. He'll have to tell his parents over the phone because he'll have to make sure they'll be home the weekend we come down for the meeting. The other thing is that the mum found TomCat by putting a note through his parents letterbox saying "can TomCat please contact A urgently on 0123456789?". Knowing them, they'll be worried about such a strange note, so he's going to have to do the deed soon! I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for the support - you lot are being magnificent!

Cat x