h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Gosh I just woke up in my chair, completely zonko. Dad, you're making a huge impression on your family. I don't know any more, what I'm supposed to... I mean... Honeybadger's going back overseas. That's sad. I shall miss her terribly.

But I can tell you one thing. I have had it up to here with the Club. They can't even -- they've lost the plot. They can go and mess with someone else's life now. I've got kids apparently. Children. I mean real ones. I've never seen them. How is that even possible.

Oh yeah, I've phoned Claremont Home Appliances and they're coming round to see to my voschmaschinentennenbaum. Because my voschmaschienenenen is broken after a certain woman used it.

Gosh, I'm relaxing now after a turmoil-filled life, half-aware, half-there. A whole generation calls upon Jesus now because of him. I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I can't see, but that's because I chose blindness when I was a kid and knew everything (yes, I knew everything).

Grace. The completion and fulfilment of the Law, Mrs M. On jest celem nauczania zydskiego. If that's right.

Excellent. nauczenie - teaching

ho Christos to tou nomou telos estin.

Hu millei' lanu et-haTorah.

On jest celem nauczenia zydskiego.

So, there we have it.

Your kingdom come, Father. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Well! Friday! how exciting!

There we are. Everyone happy in their work.

Got a cool tripod and a LCD screen for my GoPro which is fantastico (that's Italian).

New Chapter in life, and I'm recording it for posterity. Yeah. My days, on file. Audio and movie recording, as I sit in my chair in my Den and basically get on with it. As I translate, and write music, and look things up, and so on, all on file. watch it - you're on file

Nai Zindagi Naya Jeevan! Yay! This is where we Shelby North Carolina! Oh! Honeybadger! Blessed be Honeybadger, in her days and in her nights. Blessed be the daughter of Mrs M, the mother of the blessed girl. No savvidge Nation today, because Dr Michael Savage wasn't there yesterday. So never mind. It's Friday! Yay! All day! And someone's coming to mend my hockeystick, I mean, voschmaschinenenenen.

Yay.

I'm recording myself sitting in my chair writing this and I've got a microphone on and am recording myself as I talk to the people around me in the ether. These people are my friends. I love them very much. They help me. And they are very clever and strong and wise people. Mrs M is a teacher. She knows all the languages that I know, and she teaches them. I should like very much to go and visit her on a Saturday morning and read Hebrew and Greek with her. I should like to read Homer and Euripides with her. And the Old Testament. Because that's good practice in reading these ancient and beautiful languages.

And anyway, so, I'm waiting in for a telephone call from CHA. That's Claremont Home Appliances.

I don't like being used any more. BUT, if Jesus wants them to use me then so be it.

They must be gentle and I don't want to be aware that they have anything to do with me whatsoever.

That's that.

Sitting in my chair by the computer talking to my friends. That's how I like to spend my days. But, I'm going to Jerusalem to learn Modern Hebrew and to practise different kinds of Hebrew.

Oh, and I'm going to construct and build my own Gospel of John in an obscure 19th Century Hebrew translation.

I sent a package to Honeybadger yesterday and they said it would be there by 4pm today and it hasn't got there yet.

Writing is a fine pastime and dealing with Noribert Spunge is a lixivation in a class of its own.

Apparently there is a wielkia biala matka in my block and I never realised! that's heavy, but fragrant at the same time, as indeed is the lady concerned.

Jej imie to ... ale nie moge napisac jej imiej.

At the same time I am trying to impress upon a certain very important personage that really important people are so important they forget all about how important they are. In fact this distinction is similar to that between old and new money. But anyway.

As for me, I don't even know what the word important means, that's how important I am.

(I think you mean "impotent". Ed.)

Well it's been an unbelievable time of amazing discoveries resulting in a very hopeful and anticipatory dream fantasy too good to be true scenario situation situation.

The only fly in the ointmentment.

So, anyway. Friday night. Again. Oh I've got a movie to watch. But I'm too busy being anticipatory and excited and hardly able to dare believe what I've just discovered-type situation scenario situation.

The Loom of Language.

Frederick Bodmer.

The evenements - or rather, the knowledge arising from the evenements of the past half hour or so has filled me with a great hope for the future and a -- I'm bouleverse.

bouleversement - I don't know how you'd say that in English. Oh, the pretentious plaint of the gap-yearer! Anyway. A flatful of dictionaries, should be the title of any account of the first years of any marriage to Honeybadger.

On the other hand they should be very thoughtful about their loyalty to this fallen angel they think of as their god. Because of course the opportunity, or the potential, or the possibilities are boundless for blessing, or blissing, as a diabolical alternative might be thereunto; and of course the dark one wants to piss it all down the drain, so now they're playing a different melodious sequence on the aeolodicon of gloom.

You know.

Pouting Honeybadger entered the inner sanctum where Mr Hillier was sitting looking rested as usual.