h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Caroline's boyfriend! No wonder her guts are filled with fovos. The state of these people. There's room for a teacher. But you know what, they won't receive a teacher who comes in the Name of the Lord. They judge. By sight. Said boyfriend is 25 years old. A generation younger than me. Any respect? As I have said, it really is no wonder I have spent my life avoiding Christians.

The state of the white Christians here in Cape Town is quite shocking. I say this as someone who has studied the faith for over 20 years and well, basically I've devoted my life to God as you all know. He appoints people to ministries, it's not like in the visible church, these are supernatural gifts; one of mine is that I'm a teacher of the faith, that is, God has given me the ability to teach people not just head knowledge, but to touch them deeply with the truth of his Word. The Bible says that teachers get a harsher judgement at the end, because we're responsible for people in a profound way; so I take my responsibilities very seriously. As you also all now, I'm the Godfather of pedants, and am ruthless with myself on matters of detail. To quote Sibelius, the others give them sweets and fizzy drinks, but I give pure clear mountain water. The blacks love it! but the pampered whites, hmm, you see I'm challenging them to abandon their fondly held heresies in favour of the truth; and they don't like it.

Lest anyone baulk at my claim to teach the truth, I've had three different discipleships at the hands of three different masters here in South Africa, and I've been tested rigorously at Aberdeen, where I satisfied them comprehensively. My doctrine has been proved to be quite sound. I have an approach that is both extremely conservative and extraordinarily free; I have a radical approach to the rules. They are there to be "kept" (i.e. understood deeply) and used as guidelines for freeform play, but the usual approach is to treat them as if they were ... well it's like the rules of composition, or of chess, or of driving. You're meant to internalise them so completely that they become part of the grammar of who you are. Then you forget them and let your faith flower and fruit.

Whereas the people what they do, is treat them as if they were telling you what to do, instead of providing a grammar for life. Do you understand? You don't [i]follow[/i] the rules, you digest them and allow them to unlock the door to a new universe of freedom and untold possibilities.

This is all taught in the Hebrew word usually translated "law", Torah, which comes from the root yarah, which means to shoot an arrow. The word Torah means "guidance", "direction" - NOT laws to be slavishly and fearfully followed.

Sorry I'm not getting this across very well. The point is that the people I'm sent to are still a bit uncomfortable because the years of sitting alone reading and thinking have turned me into a bit of a freak.

I put up a couple of teachings - good ones - on the CCFM breakfast show facebook page, but they removed them. I don't think that's right, somehow. Bugger that - what shall I do? They clearly don't want me or my teaching, which is a very great shame, because that's what I'm here to do. And they are taking the piss out of me constantly. Now they are hiding my light under their boshet. Well, I dunno, they have done nothing but mislead and mock - it's like my brother when I was a kid. Stupid really. If they don't want me now, as I am, then I'm buggered if they can have me at any time in the future. I'm not changing to please them because I know from experience that I shall never be good enough for a bunch of Protestants. I don't take kindly to being made to balance on the point of a pin.