h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had two Objects. I found them upon waking up this morning, and then I decided to hide them so no-one could steal them. But I was half asleep when I hid them, and now I've woken up I cannot find them at all - not even five minutes after I had hidden them. I had to put them somewhere where no-one would find them so I must have put them somewhere safe, but extra safe; and now I cannot find them at all.

To make matters worse my new 3G dongle won't connect to the Internet. it says "Limited Service". It's supposed to be on by now. I'll leave it for a few hours after the shops open then if it still isn't on I'll have to go to the shop again.

I seem to have been pissed last night but I can't remember. I know I lost patience with Collard for not answering emails out of sheer faux-sanctite stubbornness, but that's par for the course; someone who claims repeatedly that they are an expert in communication, and yet who refuses to use the Internet, presumably because he lacks the sensitivity to discern what's going on behind the words on a page - well I am bored with running rings around him so I don't think I'll bother. I think he's even less incarnate than Helga was.

I require help, badly, but I cannot accept it from S because she's only after my money. Nana on the other hand is a beautiful Christian girl and if L is too proud to even so much as communicate unless it be to threaten legal action, then I may end up with her.

Right, I've got the normal Telkom/MWEB internet working, but I can't get the Vodafone 4G one working. Perhaps it's interfering with the one already installed.

I found my Objects in a VERY clever hiding place LOL

And I am NOW connected via my 4G and I hope it turns out to be ultra fast, although I don't know whether LTE is activated or not.

I think there's something deeply the matter with these CCFM Christians, because I have met a beautiful sister from Langa and she and I can and do communicate beautifully about the things of God, in the Spirit. Our mutual love is so very, very enjoyable. I think Lynwen and co are cultish and that's why she threatens legal action when I try to communicate with her. Well I'm not really interested in trying to save a bunch of people who won't even do me the honour of communicating with me - Collard is just as bad - these radio people are, after all, messed up and it clearly isn't me at all. It's just that if you're not on THEIR wavelength they won't even bother trying to adjust their settings so we can communicate. A farce.

Still I've got Nana now I hope, whom I can learn from.

I'll tell you something for nothing though, a lot of women around me don't half confuse me, especially if 2 of them aren't believers. I nearly crashed my car last night because of the girls' caterwauling. I need one woman, that's all, can't be doing with lots of them.

It's no good looking for random files to download because I've got to remember, I'm on a ten gig cap and you know, some of these files are in excess of ten gigs. I had better keep my fast connection for surfing and use the Telkom/MWEB connection for downloading everything except for files less than about 400MB in size. (Thinking The Doctor here.)

Well! Earlier this morning I thought I had lost my special spoons, and I thought my 4G modem was faulty, but it isn't, and I've even got LTE activated now, which means that the only thing holding me up now is the lack of bandwidth at h2g2. Well! This is cool.

You see, L, I gave you a chance, in fact I cried out to you from the depths of my painful heart, and you kicked me in the teeth. But God has provided someone else now. Someone who isn't too proud to help a brother in need.

I'm going to make sure S earns the money I lent her. Otherwise, she doesn't get it. She expected to be paid before she did her work here. She was surprised that I didn't fall for that. So she had to go to the loan shark because she is too proud to ask her parents. If she doesn't work here I'll tell her parents exactly what happened and they can pay me back. I'm not taking any more nonsense from that girl.

And she's not bringing any blokes back here. She can do all that at her place. Not mine.

Must make sure I hide the spare key or she'll grab it. No I don't trust her an inch.

And I'm not buying her any more clothes either. No, let her find some other mug. In fact it's illuminating that she can't find anyone else to con money out of.

I'm getting 32 Mb/s on my new Internet connection.

That is astonishingly fast. Pity it's on a 10meg cap.

But even so, that's going to speed up my surfing significantly.

Sorry, 10 gig cap.

I get the feeling that she isn't going to do any work here. If she doesn't earn her money I shall require it from her parents. This means ascertaining her parents' details. If Sethu doesn't give them to me I'll have to go to the University and get them from them. I'm in no mood to take any more bs from her.

Yeah well it's a nice day but I don't feel like driving today either. Basically I still haven't recovered from whenever it was we went out - Wednesday night, was it? I can't remember. Oh I don't know, I was pissed last night as well. Bwllwcks to it. Rehab isn't the answer. Why? Because I won't allow anyone anywhere near my mind, except for Jesus.

Took too many X last night, can't remember a thing.

S is a bad influence.

Something like karav elohim lenishberei leiv. Karav elohim lenishberei leiv. Pasa gyne ou filei ton andra ton agathon. Misousi gar. I wish I could write Greek Verse but Porson's Law evaded my capture. Euripides' Greek is so beautiful.

Sethu's drinking Lemonade with Nana. Oh God have mercy on us all.