h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right, life starts again today. Things to do. Got to concentrate and pray and let God take over. Andrew's coming, he says; and so are the window people. I've got to phone Mamacos the curtain people. Got to find a dampproofer. And a carpenter. Got to book Daisy in. That'll do for now. It's a busy day.

God told Rigby to tell me: I'll make it all up to you. He puts my tears into a bottle.

In Bad, the kids always mess things up, even Jesse, who I thought had grown up, but he didn't think, and now the feds are onto both Walt and Jesse in their mobile meth lab. Bad plays with you really badly so that you end up rooting for the bad guy and wanting to throttle the kids for not thinking. Jesse is so thick, it's unbelievable. He led Hank right to the mobile meth lab. Because he's young and very, very stupid indeed. It makes me think: Think before you act.

Probably cause. Now the owner of parking lot is a legal expert. "Protected by the 4th amendment". "Don't see that holding up in a court of law." They are having a legal argument and Walt and Jesse are standing inside the mobile meth lab having a whispered conflab. This is very tense indeed. Now he's going to go an get a warrant. This is extremely tense, but not unpleasantly so, like it has been in the past. Oh no, he's going to phone for a warrant, he isn't leaving. If he left, they could destroy the vehicle. But now he's sitting in his car and phoning for a warrant. Is Jesse going to do anything mindless? He usually does. Meanwhile Walt is thinking. Walt has got an idea. He is phoning someone. "It's me. We need your help." Now someone is coming. What for? The Albuquerque police are phoning him with a story about Hank's wife. Now Hank is making off with all dispatch. Now they have to destroy this sob as soon as humanly possible, if not sooner. Hank is in the hospital. He is running around like a bull in a china shop. Now his wife has phoned him. Now he is kicking himself and really angry because the vehicle is being destroyed. OK, not by a big crunching machine, but piecemeal by a JCB. Will they have finished by the time Hankk gets back? Oh, now it's going into the big crunching machine. They evaded the law by Walt's clever thinking.

The most impressive thing about this series so far, has been the old man, Don Salamanca or whateer his name is. The crippled dude with the little tinkly bell. That has been extremely disturbing.

Oh, and Gus wants to kill Walt because he's afraid of the cartel.

The boys have said they won't wait any more.

Bolsa says the DEA are off limits. Gus is being very hard. Now he's giving the two boys permission to off Hank. "May his death satisfy you." This has turned into a bit of a farce. But it was deadly serious earlier.

Right. It's all go. Andrew is coming at One. I've done the insurance and ordered a quote from the damp people and phoned Mamacos who might be able to come tomorrow. It's 10.30 and I've got until one. I was going to go out and get my music printed but I'll do that another time, it's too rushed to fit that in before Andrew comes. I'd rather have left at nine.

OK, so, I just need to set the wheels in motion for the den renovation. I need a carpenter next.

OK, the carpenter is coming at nine on Tuesday.

To rehang the door. OK, I'm waiting on the dampproof people. I may phone them... I don't usually trust online email forms. For example at CCFM they just ignore them.

Excellent the dampproof guy is coming at 12. Let's hope he can do the job soon soon, get it out of the way. Then the door; then the window people, then the wallpaper, then the curtains. And my den will be practically finished. Just need to paint the desk.

Next thing: hifi, but that's all dependent on the amp coming.

I've got this enormous gut, it's not food, it's spiritual. And I wish I didn't have it. Apparently it's "cool stuff" but I have no idea what that means. I want rid! The only way I know how to be rid is Salvia Divinorum in the Amazon rainforest with a shaman. DMT might work; Ibogaine might work too, but I don't fancy any of those compounds. Rather hoping a man of God could help. But no-one seems to know about this sort of thing.

A woman called Pat put the stuff in my gut. And Sethu made it bigger. Sick of it. Why isn't there a man of God who knows about this stuff? And who can clean me out?

Also my worm, I need rid of that too. Sick of it.

I need a man or a woman or both, of God, to see everything inside me, to take authority and to chuck it all out, in Jesus' Name. And give me a good cleaning out from head to toe, to get rid of all the crap that's inside me. Who will do it? There's no-one. All I get is lectures on faith from David. I was under the impression we were supposed to love and care for each other. I need someone with powerful discerment and who is fully operational in their authority over evil.

Just chuck the bloody thing out. All of it.

Poor Andrew was in tears yesterday. I sat with him while he cried.

I asked Jo, who thought she was oh so spiritual, to help me with the worm, once, and she turned me away. WHY? I bet if one of her cronies had that problem they'd have helped her. It's tough being the last on people's list. If they're not pushing me away they're just ignoring me because I'm too "difficult" for the poor bourgeois worldlings to cope with. News: Jesus specialises in the difficult.

His people don't though. They marginalise us.

Blessed are ye...

Yeah right. Thanks.

OK, the dampproofing is quite a big job, he strips the plaster off and lays a latex slurry and replasters it. It will be suitable for wallpaper. It'll be lovely when it's fully dampproofed in here, with non-leaking windows and a dry wall. Will be lovely. I'm having wallpaper; I know which one; and curtains - I just have to choose the fabric. I want a thick fabric that cuts out the light. Not a blocking backing because that spoils the hang of the curtain, but I need the light more or less completely blocked out in here. At the moment these blinds don't really do it. I've got a plan for this room now.

I'm so glad I dumped the losers and got Metal Windows to do my windows.

What colour curtains do I want? Purple? That might be nice, actually. I mean like the spare room, not mauve, but a dark purple. Either purple suede or purple velveteen. Big old curtains to block over the windows. Just making sure the room can still breathe, for the gas. Will be ever so nice.

Then once that's done, I'm outta here, upcountry, to look at a house to buy, as a getaway. A country getaway. Somewhere to go and write and chill. For that I need perhaps another amp, or perhaps I can use the lounge amp. And you plug the little transmitter into the lappie and play it over the radio and feed the radio into the amp via the mixer. Perfect. I'll either need Cell C or ADSL, it depends on what's available where I go. Needless to say wherever I go has to have broadband. I don't know what rural broadband is like in South Africa, but I believe 3G might be the way forward. It's a LOT better than it was.

Andrew likes my phrase "eat your own shame" - he says it's brilliant. Yeah thanks Andrew. It's actually from some obscure African or Indian language, I forget. I read about it in a linguistics book.

When Andrew's been I may go to the copy shop. I want to get my music printed, and get that outta the way. Caring for a loved one. Poor old Sunny. She works so hard. And what reward does she get? Oh, remember her, O Lord.

I only had a few drinks, I was just buzzed.

Buzzed driving is drunk driving. Oh dear. Yeah. No alcohol when you get behind the wheel. No alcohol when you get behind the wheel. Tum tum te tum...

Had a tin of meatballs for luncheon. It was OK, considerably improved by liberal splashings from a bottle of Wasabi Sauce. Now, Wasabi Sauce is actually what I want; Wasabi itself it too strong. So I'm glad I've got Wasabi Sauce. If I were cooking a casserole I'd include some Wasabi Sauce into the gravy, to liven it up a bit.

Ja you see I just had a beer, and I hate beer because it dehydrates you, and that's a horrible feeling, you mouth dries up. Whereas I like proper drink like Ice Tea because it hydrates you and you feel good. That beer was horrendous. Alcohol is such a bane.

Andrew came by... the book is in sight. Only about a month tops I think, before we have the actual book in our hands. That is amazing, it's all happened so suddenly.

The banging from downstairs is BEYOND A JOKE.

I feel like playing my music very loudly indeed at three am for six months when these people move in.

I have FOUND my GAUZES... hooray.

Excellente.

I thought I'd lost them. I thought I'd been incredibly careless.

But I hadn't. I did put them somewhere safe.

Of course it was trying to find them at night that was difficult.

Well it's nearly three o'clock and I'm a bit bored, but it's windy out, and I don't go out in the wind, because I get confused. Where I go to stay upcountry, there mustn't be any wind. No way. No thank you Madam.

OK the dampproofing man is coming to look at my wall and quote me. Excellent. We are getting things done. It's happening.

He will be here in 10 minutes. Then he will leave, and I shall be alone again. I feel strange today. Strange. Very peculiar.

Yeah well it's only 2 walls or maybe only just 2 that need dampproofing. Probably three. But how they need dampproofing. But he's done it I shall be able to have wallpaper. That's pretty heavy duty cool, wallpaper and cosy gas and computers and movies and world radio and everything, in what was basically a balcony when I moved in. It is becoming one of the most special rooms in Shem Elohim.

I hope Lynwen comes to live here. I think we'd get on very well. Well it's up to her.

Otherwise I shall just carry on.

Right well tomorrow I need to phone Mohammed and Alan, basically. And I need to do this final proofing.

OK so the dampproofing is a big and long and messy job. Takes about a week from start to finish. But once it's done, I'll have a completely dry den, which will be a transformation from the anxiety of the previous winters. Oh it's been terrible. Well last winter wasn't actually too bad. That was amazing actually. But the winter before last was terrible. Oh it was appalling. I had to chuck out a rug (I gave it away). No, that was terrible. The wall is pretty damp. Even now, at the end of summer. So we strip down to bricks and we put 2 coats of latex slurry on, and then we put a layer of another product on, and then we plaster. He says Nothing will get through that. The only thing I have to think about, is the condensation coming off the gas fire. Well, what do you think? Should I have electricity in here? Should I use the oil radiator and just leave it on all winter long, with a fan heater for top up? Because the gas, well, it's very nice, but it's awfully damp. Now, but, the gas makes it SO cosy in here, at night. That's the whole charm of this room in winter, is the gas.

What do we think?

I've got to strip the whole room out. All the computer equipment. All the audio gear. Got to cover the lens of the projector - don't know where the lens cap is.

Got to unplug everything, and rewire it in again afterwards.

This way I can use cable tidies.

It's going to be a massive, heroic job. But it will be worth it, you see. Because I'll have wallpaper and thick, luxuriant curtains. And always-on lighting, and it'll be my den. Andrew wants the blinds, which he's welcome to. Yeah, my den. Big question about gas. Because I think the oil radiator, if I leave it on all the time, I think it would be enough in here, if I kept the door closed. Or would it? If I needed to top up I should have to use an electric fan heater. The great advantage of electricity is a) the oil radiator doesn't use up THAT much juice, and b) it's safer and c) it uses up much less space.

The advantage of gas is aesthetic (having a glowing gas hearth is lovely) but the disadvantage is practical (the gas creates condensation, which won't be good for the wallpaper). I have been known to sacrifice much for the sake of aesthetics.

Having a gas hearth is just so lovely in winter here. It gets so drear and dull and nasty. BUT the den will be cut off from the world. Thick curtains. So if I had electricity I could keep the windows closed and I wouldn't notice the outside weather. It just wouldn't have that extra lovely warmth. On the other hand I found last year that anything over about 27 degrees in here and the projector started to complain. So I kept it pretty low, heatwise, because of the projector. I wish I had experimented with the oil radiator. But the other thing is that the oil radiator requires a cable of its own. As it is I have many things plugged into the one 16A cable. I'd have to calculate how many amps the oil radiator and a possible fan heater would draw, and work that all out.

Two years ago the gas fire caught fire, and I would feel slightly better having the oil radiator in here. If I left it on it would surely heat up the room acceptably? I'd just have to keep the door shut. That's not a problem. I remember the bedroom got bloody cold in winter compared to the den.

He's coming next Tuesday at nine to rehang the door, by the way. That's nice, get that out of the way at least. Must ensure the lazy boy and the chaise can both get in through the door, because he says it's going to get narrower by quite a large margin. That's possibly a bummer? can always take the legs off the chaise? Will have to trust to God that it all works out OK.

I stood up to someone last night and she's flounced today. Well I stood up to someone else and she disappeared completely, never seen again. Sorry but if you're going to attack me you can bloody well watch out, because I will respond in kind.

Someone else was really viciously slurring me as well. I just pointed out the fact and told her to ask herself why. She's angry all the time.

There's someone else whom all the girlies suck up to in terror and she's plain evil.

So that's the big question. Once all the work is done, do I go back to electricity or do I keep gas. I shall have to think very carefully about electric load and so on, as well as contemplating the basic question.

Oh and the job of waterproofing is huge. For 5 days I have to have the room empty and the heater on and the fan on. To dry it out. Yes I'm just going to have to bear it. I shall have to decamp to the Afternoon Room in the meantime.

My jaw has holes in it where teeth used to be. And I eat with difficulty these days. That's not so good. I may have to have a Maccy D tonight.

When this room is drying out I shall have to decamp to the other side of the flat, to the lounge and /or the Afternoon Rooom. I'll have gas in the lounge and the Afternoon Room but possibly not in my den. Hmm.

In the words of Kirkoid Franklin, Just think of how much better my den is going to be when this is all over. It's going to take about six weeks from today, and it'll be all done. I'm presently leaning towards electricity, because I don't want condensation on the wallpaper. And you will get it. And I don't want glossy wallpaper, I want matt, like in the Study. And Matt wallpaper would be ruined by a lot of condensation, which you'd get if you use Gars. I seem to have a little flap of either gumflesh, or stitch on my gum on the right hand side. It's annoying. I don't know what it is. I don't want to pull it in case I rip open the wound, see. While it's still there the wound continues to be felt with a little tiny wee ache. Oh how I want my den to be lovely. Oh how I yearn for someone to love me without my having to be on my guard all the time against lying and deceit and unfaithfulness.

There's still quite a tender spot on my gum there. Quite bad. I don't know what it is but I hope Dr N hasn't messed up.

I am getting very very fond of a certain lady. But she lives overseas. I think she is getting fond of me as well. It's nice. But difficult because she's so far away.

I do want to have an analogue phono stage amp so that my records are played using exclusively analogue technology. That's rare, and to be desiredworthy, these days.