h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm feeling stressed and unhappy at the moment because I have realised that I won't be able to teach Hebrew or Greek here because there are already enough people doing it - this town is chocka with Greek and Hebrew specialists. I am not a specialist, but can do a "little teaching on the side" - that is about my limit. What is making me unhappy is that the spectre of further study has reared its unpleasant smelling head. People are saying what I had also told myself - that if I went to a university or a seminary offering to help out in the language teaching, they would say Do a master's.

I have schizo-affective disorder - I depend on medication for my mental wellness - and find academic work (mind work) incredibly stressful, although I am good at it. The illness struck when I went to Aberdeen for the first time in 1996 and it has completely crippled my confidence in myself. I cannot face another go at studying. Aberdeen was incredibly stressful, although I got a First and won all the prizes, in other words I could do it OK when it came down to it, I cannot see myself putting myself through that hell again.

The question arises about what to do because Sandile's company has folded and there is no longer the possibility of getting work there. I am frustrated about this, but Sandile couldn't help it, partly, although some of it was I believe his own ignorance and naivety.

To be honest I just want to work now. I have had enough of the rarefied intellectual world of university study... to be more precise, I have had enough of the peculiar kind of mental stress that such work places me under. It isn't the work itself, it's my experience of the expectation of the tutors and supervisors and the pressure of the "system" that gets to me and causes me to malfunction. I enjoy studying the Bible and so on, but doing it in the pressurised world of the university makes it very difficult for me. I will look for other work in town or in Cape Town.

A post has just come up - assistant pastor to the minister at the United Reformed church I have started going to - I wonder whether I ought to have a go at that? Not much chance that they would take me on, of course, me being new and unknown etc, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I am considering it, anyway. It is a part time job and ought not to be too stressful. We shall see. I have a good qualification for such a job - the BD from a traditional Scottish university.

Phew. I really don't think I would be able to endure the stress of further study in a structured way, although I would of course relish the opportunity to preach and teach the Gospel, and would be able to cope with the kind of studying that that entails. In other words, as I have said above, I have done enough formal studying and would like now to use the skills that I learned while at Aberdeen.

Now that I've got all that off my chest I'm no longer feeling stressed or unhappy.

Glad to hear that it has helped to write it all down, Richard.

There must be other things that you could do without having to get further qualifications - and you could certainly apply for the assistant pastor's post. As you say, nothing venture, nothing gained, and at least it would mean you'd get your CV updated and perhaps get some interview practice. In fact, you could view it as just that - practice in applying for a job - and then if you got it, it would be a bonus!

Richard ~ hello! I'm so sorry about the situation you find yourself in, but would certainly echo everything that Annie has said. So ~ I do hope that you'll take steps to make that application!

I hope that the rest of the day will be good to you. Take care, ~~Misty~~

Hi Dagesh

At least writting it all down has helped clarify your thinking on FE which doesn't (at the moment) sound the right thing for you. Why not go and have an informal chat with the pastor about the assistant post to find out more about it and the responsibiities of the role before making a decision about whether or not to apply for the position?

You can also start reading the Situations Vacant and looking at online ads to get a feel for the kind of jobs that are out there and see what you might be able to do.

Jane