h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have just got back from voting. Actually, that's a fib, I got back from voting at half one, just in time for Neighbours which happened to be very exciting today (ie. Lynn wasn't in it).

So my housemates and I have voted for the first time in a general election, we have used our democratic right to have a say in the governance of our country. Its a shame that the actual event was such an anticlimax. The polling station was empty save for two lovely old ladies with the ballots. The whole process took less than half a minute. We rewarded ourselves with gorgeous sandwiches from a posh Italian deli and trooped home. Carrots and sticks seems to make the best motivation to me. The carrot was the sandwich and the stick was Michael Howard. Tonight we're going to the pub to watch the results come in, there's an extended license till 2 am and there should be a great atmosphere.

This leaves me with six hours to do some work for an essay on the Dutch Republic. It's due in on Monday so I have to get cracking but at the moment I just can't be bothered with it. I got a disappointing essay mark back today and I feel like I am rubbish at History, completely without talent or ability. I feel like this year a gradual but relentless truth has dawned on me, I will not get a first. This is a bit hard to take, especially as my teachers at school and a lecturer or two seem to think that I have it in the bag. But I won't, I know it. I hate knowing this and sometimes I kid myself that I could do as well as I'd like but I think I'd better face the truth. I just don't have it in me.

This entry seems to have gotten more and more morose as I've gone on so I think I should end it. Briefly on the upside, I went to a talk and reading by Andrew Motion last night which was excellant. My seminar presentation went really well the other day and Desperate Housewives gets better and better. There, that's three good things I can be pleased about.

Niff

Don't despair, Niff. A first is not the be all and end all, though I do know how you feel. In my first year I got a first, but it didn't count for anything! I've had the same realisiation as you.



Classic! I have a similar plan..... my carrot is a meal at home and sleeping in a comfy bed, and the stick is a combination of Michael Howard and the BNP.

Good luck with the essay!

Bex

Did you feel the mark was not deserved? Do you know now what you should have done? Did you tackle the subject as it was meant to be tackled?
If it is the first bad mark, it's perhaps a bit early to give up hope of a first?

Hi Niff, hang in there. Sorry about the not-so-good essay mark. The usual about if you know where you went wrong, yadda yadda yadda...

What year are you in? Second, IIRC? A First may not be unattainable... and regardless of what you get, you will have done your best I'm sure. Depending on what you want to do afterwards it won't matter at all anyway. The only thing it might affect is if you want to go straight on to a PhD.

I have to go, but take care & don't get down about things.

Cat x

Niff

Speaking as someone with a good history degree I'll just offer this one comment, really, really don't get hung up about a first or quite simply you will not get one.

I recall people busting a gut to get a First and giving up so much in the process, then not getting a First becuase they were stressed and / or got a bad question. Lead a normal life, work hard but within reason and above all enjoy your time at Uni, experience all it has to offer, not just making the grades.

It's actually easier to get a First with that attitude, anyway ask yourself this would you rather get morose, wound up, miss out on life and possibly get a first or take it all in, enjoy life and get a 2-1?

LP

Hey martine,
I think I did deserve the mark to be honest, I'm not sure modern Spanish history is really something I've gotten my head round. I'm going to go and see the tutor in her office hour to find out how I can improve. It's really not the end of the world, just a bit frustrating.

What's bugged me this year is that I've been getting firsts in essays, not a problem, I contribute well in seminars and I know that I can blag it to an extent. I'm just annoyed that I screwed up two of my exams in February and got 2:1's over all, which I know is not a disaster or anything and considering how much I bothched the exams, I'm pleased with. It seems like my exam technique is seriously lacking. I went to my tutor about it, talked it over and got some exam advice but I'm still worried. I guess its just that thing of having remarkably bright friends who do incredibly well who, of course, I'm so pleased for but still, despite everything, thinking 'why not me?'.

You've shaken me out of my self-pity to some extent so thanks for that. The essay I handed in really wasn't terribly good and I knew that and I'll find out how to do better.

Niff

Hey LP,
I'm very impressed with all these quick responses to my self-pitying wail!
You're right, of course, a first certainly isn't everything, in fact its not even most things. Most of the time I'm happy just to mooch along and see how I do, I definately don't work hard enough to really pursue a first with any kind of passion. I think its just that the weight of expectation gets me down, not least from myself. I missed an exam in Feb because I had a fit, the lecturer for that module was really understanding and cool with me taking it in August (fun for me, huh?). He keeps saying that I'll get a first, and I know its a nice thing to say and I'm flattered but the pressure can be a bit intense, y'know? I had the same thing at A level when my History teacher predicted me an 'A', felt a bit like a millstone around my neck! This essay that I just got back was a bad essay, I realise that (with martines help!), I think I need to concentrate on the exam, that's where I seem to go in with a first and leave with a 2:1.

I don't want to be an academic so as Cat says, I shouldn't worry about it too much, certainly not enough to stop me going out and drunkenly seeing the new govt in!

Thanks LP for giving me a bit of perspective and thanks everyone else for advice and dragging yourself through my miserable journal entry.

Niff bit of a

P.S. Am I right in recalling that you work for the civil service/local govt? Does the election affect you in anyway or is it business as usual?

Hi Niff

Your post really reminded me of the pressure I was under too, I could write essays easily, do seminars and tutorials in my sleep but I did not love closed exams. Also I had the same pressure as you describe, "a certain first that LP".

It feels like you really can't win. Cos, if you get one it's only to be expected and if you don't what an idiot! Anyway, I decided the only way out of that nasty postion, was to say I'd be very pleased with a 2-1 and no way was I going to put the hours and hours in to try and be certain of a first. That took the pressure right off and of course I worked hard but it all felt under control and the degree then took care of itself and I got no exam stress - so performed better.

I also then enjoyed the subject more and slowly realised that I was there because I really love history, not because I wanted to get some artifical mark. Which means I love it to this day unlike some friends who grew to hate it becuase they worked too hard. Frankly, closed exams are too much a matter of chance to be sure of.

Re local gov, it effects some people as they work at the polling stations, also as I'm in a politically restricted post I cannot comment in any way on the election, other than that, we are go on running the country while they go on running around it!

LP

Hey LP, that sums up exactly how I feel now and again. When everyone seems to think you're a shoe in for a first not getting firsts is extra galling and makes you doubt yourself and that old feeling of being a fraud starts bubbling up again.

I do love history, pathetically, geekily, nerdily love history and I wouldn't want to lose that by putting myself through the mill. I don't think there's any other degree I could be as happy doing and you're dead right that its important to enjoy it.

I think a little part of me still likes the idea of doing the MA, Phd, academic, ivory tower thing and that's why I get upset when I never get firsts, its like crossing out a potential job before I get the chance to apply. When I think about it though, I'm not sure I've got the motivation, drive or ability to see that kind of thing through. Also, as my Politics friends say, they want to have a job that is more involved in global issues, charity workers, lobbyists, environmentalists, human rights lawyers etc. I think I'd rather go down that road too, to feel like I've really given something back to the community. No offence meant to lecturers and their ilk, just not sure its for me.

Oh whoops, this has turned into a bit of a careers advisor meeting type thing - sorry about that!

Would a change of govt really shake things up in your area or do you think things would carry on pretty much as they are? I'm heading off to the pub in an hour to see the results come in, I'm ridiculously excited as its my first election and there's a candidate running in our constituency that we all want to get in. Sadly I don't have any orange clothes to wear, at least I can wind people up by telling them I liked the look of the Christian People's Alliance tho!

Niff

Hi Niff,

I'm so pleased you and your friends have been excited about the election. I spent ten minutes today trying to persuade my line manager's 18 year old daughter that she really had to go and vote. I couldn't believe that it was her first chance to vote and she couldn't be bothered. I wouldn't have minded quite so much if she'd thought about it and made a positive decision not to vote, but to just not be bothered was too much for me to bear. I have a feeling though her dad is more or less going to frogmarch her there. I couldn't wait to vote when I was 18, and have voted in every single election (council, european and general) I've been eligible to vote in. Not so enthusiastic now (too many disappointments) but I still think it's so important. I'm almost in favour of compulsory voting - childhood in Australia where it is compulsory has rubbed off on me.

Agree with the advice re firsts etc. I realised relatively early on in my degree that I would have to work extremely hard to get a first (and still might not have got one - think there were 5 firsts out of 100 of us on my course) but that by working reasonably hard but still having a life I could probably get a 2:1 (which I duly did). But I know all about "expectations" and the pressure that puts on you

Just keep on loving the history - that's the most important thing,

hebe

Niff

I very much doubt there will be a change of government, only one result as I write but it's already looking like what a betting man would have gone for, Labour reduced.

If there was there would be little real change for a couple of years as it takes them that long to work out how things actually works. They have no access to how the ministry was previously run as that is all locked away. The Civil Service runs things a lot of the time, though a Labour government is, generally, more interventionist quicker than Tory.

Re history, gosh this rings some bells, academics like to promote the idea you should follow them, but after A levels then 3 years of Uni it's a very good idea to take time out and join the wider world. You can always go back later, I did my History MA 7 years on (ironically at Sheffield) and it was much better for it - and yes I got a First, I was more proud of that than my first degree I think because it purely my work.

Hope you had a fun night.

LP