h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had a visit from a delightful young lady named Koulla today; she was conducting the 10-yearly Cyprus census. Not having undergone this procedure before I was unsure what to expect, but it was all very informal and I just had to answer a series of questions over a period of around ten minutes.

When it came to the matter of annual household income, there was a brief moment where Koulla lost a little of her professional attitude and exclaimed "Oh, I thought it would have been more than that"!

You see, when she arrived she'd noticed the number of arches at the front of the house (we have four) and automatically assumed that we were wealthy people. You're confused, aren't you? Allow me to explain.

Wealth, or the appearance of wealth, is ingrained in the Cypriot psyche. Historically, this behaviour can be traced back generations, but it's become more prevalent in the last 15-20 years as the country and its people have become more affluent. This is not necessarily a good thing; Cypriots can be mortgaged to the hilt and heavily indebted to the banks but that will not prevent them taking every opportunity to reinforce their wealth and standing amongst their peers. Flashy cars, big boats and expensive designer-clothes are the order of the day among modern Cypriots.

Years ago, when many of these items were not available, wealth was demonstrated by the size of a property. Traditional, historic, buildings had archways as the architectural style, but these were difficult and expensive to construct. The more there were, the wealthier the occupant. Most houses had just one, if at all. In some dwellings, the archway construction would cost more than the property itself. By the time you'd installed four, or even five, you were a man to be respected and admired in the community, for you were, indeed, a very wealthy person. This tradition has passed down through the generations. Most modern houses still incorporate arches in the design, but the vast majority are follies. Folly or not, if your property frontage can support four archways, it still gives the impression of wealth and that's very important to the Cypriot people.

This fascination with money and wealth can be seen on a daily basis. Cash is king; the more you have, the more you flaunt it. Older men, especially, will carry thousands of €uros on their person and have no hesitation in revealing the entire wad when making a purchase, often selecting the highest denomination possible (€500) for maximum effect. A significant purchase, such as a car (or even a wheel-barrow) will immediately arouse attention, provoke a comment and then a less-than-subtle enquiry as to its purchase cost. All this is done in order to inform and educate the enquirer of both his (and your) social position. If his wheel-barrow cost more, then all is well.

If it cost less, you'll be ostracised. Don't ever expect lemons from his trees again.

4 Arches? Where do you keep the Yacht and the Bentley?

Oh, I love this. Can't wait for tomorrow's instalment.