h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Be under no illusion; Cyprus can be a cold place in which to live.

Just now, I popped outside for a swift drag and it's positively freezing. Actually, it's not, not anywhere near, but it feels like it is. While the daytime temperatures are still most-agreeable, that can't be said for the autumn nights and, regrettably, soon it will be winter. I'm wondering if it's an age thing because I really do notice the cold and considering I'm embarking on my sixth year in Cyprus, you'd have thought I'd be used to it by now. Sadly, I'm way off retirement age at the moment so, unlike many ex-pats, I won't enjoy the benefit of the winter fuel allowance courtesy of Her Majesty's government.

The arrival of the colder weather also means that it's the time of year when the tourist demographic changes completely. Gone are the sun-worshippers replaced by, erm, sun-worshippers. The difference is the area of the world from which they come. The Brits have gone home to be replaced by visitors from the Nordic and Scandinavian countries. For the new arrivals, our current weather is decidedly tropical and, unlike the Brits, they are not here on a fleeting-visit; Cyprus will be home to them for the next 5 months. While I'm out in jeans, boots and a fleece during daylight hours, the Norwegians can be seen strutting their stuff along the promenades in shorts, t-shirts and the obligatory walking/ski-poles. It's an amusing sight, but to them, the days are hot - why wouldn't you strip-down to appreciate the wonderful weather?

I've talked to many of the winter visitors on many different occasions and (just like the Brits) the conversation always steers back to the subject of weather. As a general rule-of-thumb there are two reasons why these people visit Cyprus; firstly they like it and secondly their entire 5 month stay (including food, drink, accommodation and entertainment) costs *less* than just heating their houses during winter at home. Staggering.

Actually, I lied, there is another very good reason. In less than two months there will be snow falling on the Troodos massif. Visitors and locals alike will flock to the top of Mount Olympus to enjoy the skiing. Bizarrely, less than an hours drive away, down at sea-level you'll occasionally find days when the temperatures nudge 20C in the open-air and a constant 18C in the sea. Only the hardy will venture in, but if you're from the Nordic countries this is like taking a bath!

For less-hardy folk, like my good-self, autumn and winter days require a defined regime. Houses in Cyprus are, in the main, poorly constructed. As poor construction goes, our house sets the benchmark. During the summer, the house is like an oven. During the winter it is like a 'fridge. At the moment we've reached equilibrium - it's hotter outside than inside during the day and warmer inside than out of an evening. Achieving this balance comes at a price and only after applying a liberal dose of military precision:

9.00am Wake. Do not rise.
10.00am Rise, open all doors and windows.
10.00am - 3.00pm Sit outside and soak the warm air.
3.00pm Close all doors, windows, shutters. Retreat indoors.
4.00pm Put on jumper #1.
7.00pm Apply jumper #2.
11.00pm Retire.

Of course, this method only applies during November. Once winter is here (December - January) a different approach is needed. Jumpers, generally, suffice until 30th November. During December we'll light a candle to boost the warmth, occasionally lighting an extra one if we are suffering a particularly bad winter. In January, we retire to bed at 4.30pm. My wife is occasionally permitted to utilise the electric blanket after midnight on setting #1 if she's feeling particularly cold and I determine evidence of shivering.

We've never needed to advance the electric blanket control to #2. As I often point out, if that is ever deemed necessary, the Mediterranean is still comfortable at 18C and we could always spend the night there.

For some inexplicable reason, my wife is normally resides at her mothers during the winter.

Spell-checked, proof-read no less than 4 times and I still manage to ruin the punch-line.

If I manage to achieve anything by the end of NaJoPoMo, I hope to write an error-free journal at least once.

I still have no hope of an error free journal.

Bearing in mind the loss of a power station when that confiscated gunpowder blew up, is both reduced capacity and cost an issue for heating there?

Most houses are heated by bottled gas - yep, it's those inherently-dangerous portable gas heaters that I call 'Metal Mickeys'. Some houses have wood-burners and rarely you'll find houses that have full oil-powered central heating.

No coal, anywhere, on the island, so those are more-or-less the options.

Some houses do use air-con in reverse, ie heat, rather than chill. This method is being discouraged this year because of the increased load on the system, but with their efficiency being far higher than any other method of heating there's a lot of 'discussion' taking place.

To answer the second part of your question, BMT, cost is *always* an issue to me.

I'm following this series with great interest.

I'd love to have it for once this is over.

Thanks for the kind words, B'el.

are more than welcome to these ramblings, if they feel they are suitable.

I'm a sucker for well written articles. If they are about something exotic (to me) then it's even better.