h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Post you Star Trek funnies here


Star Trek Condoms

Star Trek Condoms - Bodly go where no one has gone before ?

TNG Related Condoms

Batazoid condoms - They can hear you coming.

Borg condoms - Resistance is futile.

First Contact Condoms - Says it all.

Inserrection Condoms - Say no more.

Generations Condoms - Two Caps are better than one.

Nemesis Condoms - The Final Journey.

TNG Crew Condoms

Picard Condoms - For a extra shiny head

Crusher Condoms - (oh, sounds harsh) - for guaranteed health

Worf Condoms - For extra strength

Data Condoms - For speed and precision

Riker Condoms - For extra virility

Geordi Condoms - For getting a broken down machine up and running again

Deanna Condoms - for extra sex appeal



Deep Space Nine related Condoms

Deep Space Nine Condoms - Static but solid.

Ferengi Condoms - Remember the Rules of Acquisition.

Bajoran Condoms - Total spritual experiance.

Cardassian Condoms - Take control.

Founders Condom - For solids.

Vorta Condom - Engineered to serve you.

Jem Hedar Condoms - Addictive.

Romulan Condom - You will comply


Enterprise related Condoms

Vulcan Condoms - The logical choice.

Andorian Condoms - Two are better than one.

Suliban Condoms - Colour changers.

Klingon Condoms - For your little/big ridged warrior

Another one for Klingon Condoms - Protect your honour

Temporal Cold War Condoms - You don't know if you are coming or going.

Enterprise Crew Condoms

Archer Condoms - Get the sperm locked away.

T'Pol Condoms - Intercourse is irrelevant.

Trip Condoms - Deep South.

Hoshi Condoms - Communication is the key.

Reed Condoms - Be prepared.

Mayweather Condoms - Dependable.

Porthos Condoms - One for all and all for one 'doggie style.'

Doctor Phlox Condoms - For large groups.

Store Wars

http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

You may have a redneck starship Captain if...




Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.

He paints flames and an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.

You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob".

He refers to Klingons as "critters".

He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns".

He has a sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil.

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.

He says "got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies".

He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.

He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.

He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.

He says "Yee-HA!" instead of "Engage".

He has a hand tooled holster for his phaser.

He insists on calling his executive officer "bubba".

He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster".

He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs and turnip greens.

He paints the starship John Deere Green.

He refers to a Pulsar as a "blue light special".

He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp".

His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.

He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen".

His idea of dress uniform is clean bib overalls.

He wears mirrored shades on the bridge.

His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies.

He sets his phaser to "Cajun".

any more little gems anyone?

Well i have a few

Top 10 Ferengi Pickup Lines
10. "Nice teeth!"
9. "You know, if we allowed our women to wear clothes, you'd look great in red."

8. "I'm a Daemon hot for gamin'!"

7. "Wanna dance? I'm almost four-foot-six!"

6. "Yep, I must have run away from every ship in Starfleet...."

5. "Need a light?"

4. "Oooh....nice tax avoidance scheme!"

3. "How 'bout I show my my phaser burns?"

2. "Wow! What a lisp!"

1. "You know, in this light....your head looks just like a human butt."

Worf in commande

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/224595

Picards Empire http://anightatthehothberry.ytmnd.com/