h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I've told you once" said my misses,
"it's the Police Station you must go
if anyone's going to help us,
it's them cause they're all on the know".

So I got out my bike,
instead of the car,
it was no good wasting petrol,
the cop shop was not far.

The road to the station was all down hill,
I arrived in no time at all
I entered the yard by a side gate,
and parked my bike by the wall.

I walked around the front of the station,
climbed three steps, then went in the door
it felt strange standing in reception,
I'd never been in a cop shop before.

A policeman sat there at a large desk,
he gave me a bit of a smile
"if you just take a seat over there sir,
we will be with you in a short while".

Well I waited around in reception,
for someone my statement to hear
When out from a door stepped a woman,
she was ugly and smelt of stale beer.

Behind her came the sergeant,
he looked worried and red in the face,
"just sit over there by that man Rose,
I'll get someone to take up your case".

Then at me she pointed,
she gave me a long hard stare
"that's him" she told the sergeant,
"that's him who gave me a scare".

"Now come on Rose", said the sergeant,
"you can't accuse people like that,
he doesn't fit the discription,
you said the flasher was fat".

The sergeant caaled me over,
and whispered in my ear
"you'll have to forgive old Rose sir,
she's always coming in here".

"That's all very well" to the sergeant I said,
"I don't like to be accused like that
after all I only came to this place,
to report the loss of a...CAT".