h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-17582542

Summary:

Priest turns up to give a presentation a group of parents, plus a child, at a primary school. Pops his memory stick into the computer (no, this is not a euphemism).

The parents and the child are then presented via the projector with sixteen "indecent images of men". That *is* a euphemism. What they mean is, there was gay porn on there.

Flustered, the priest pulls the stick out, and bolts.

That's not the best bit, though.

The best bit is he shamelessly returned, and... well:

"Twenty minutes later he returned, he continued with the meeting and wrapped up by saying that the children get lots of money for their Holy Communion and should consider giving some of it to the church"

You have to admire the solid steel balls it must take to gloss over showing a kid some of your gay porn collection and still beg for money.

And the hilarious "The priest has stated that he had no knowledge of the offending imagery" statement. Oh yeah, father, you had no knowledge of the imagery that was in the root directory of the stick you brought your presentation on. What do you think we are, stupid? Oh, hang on, you're begging us for money because you have an imaginary friend... I see the answer is yes, you do think we're stupid. Silly me.

Still, I guess the parents should be grateful he didn't actually attempt to touch the kid or anything. Just showing them gay porn is actually an improvement on the sort of behaviour they've become known for recently.

Anyone else think there might have been a Father Dougall sniggering in another room?

The Catholic church has a tradition of very 'gay' iconography, so his porn at least fits in with the aesthetic.

You do of course realise that if somebody had actually videoed that presentation, it would probably become the most watched you-tube clip of all time. It must've been hilarious, though the story claims that "the parents who viewed the pictures were horrified and distracted" Mind you they do take their imaginary friend quite seriously in NI.

Why does everyone call Him an "imaginary friend "? What sort of friend behaves like that, bringing disaster and whatnot upon the earth?

A. He's imaginary.
B. They say he's their friend.

Nobody said he was a GOOD friend. Also, nobody said they had any taste or judgement when it comes to picking friends.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Anyway, I'm sure there is an innocent explanation along the lines of the need to carry out research.

It remains just within the bounds of possibility that someone else put the images there to play a prank on the priest. Just possible. Just.

TRiG.

Gay porn appeared on his memory stick?

It's a miracle!

Apparently he is claiming that he got the memory stick from Cardinal Sin.

>>B. They say he's their friend

Obviously they would, they're in fear of him. We don't have to indulge that part of their fiction though. As far as I can see, the term 'Lord' is quite apt, because he's very much an imaginary crime lord; threatening with damnation those who don't 'pay' him respect, and terrorising believers and non-believers alike. We owe it to those fearful, deluded people to put together an imaginary police force to hunt him down. That shouldn't be too hard, since he was last seen everywhere.

Wow.

Fantastic stuff


*wipes tears from his eyes*


I love the fact that he came back.

I have no words

Just to be serious...

Obviously he was embarrassed at a serious feck up. But maybe he wasn't particularly ashamed of the fact that it was gay porn. There are many priests who are against the church's stance on celibacy, and some of them vote with their...well, not feet, exactly. Some of them are also gay.

But, Jaysus...a primary school.

I suppose it depends what is meant by "indecent images of men". It's possible that these parents hadn't previously seen images of the band known as "The Village People".

"embarrassed at a serious feck up" -- not a cock up, then?

"I love the fact that he came back"

Not only did he come back - he came back and begged for money that had been gifted to children. Truly, the church may teach a lot of things, but shame certainly isn't one of them.

Hoo, the money that the children get for their Communion will probably be wasted on sweets and such like.

Most of the money given to the church will probably go to worthy causes such as supporting the poor, the homeless, the abused. Only a small portion of it will go towards supporting the priest's porn collection.

I'm a bit mind-boggled by the fact that he didn't check the memory stick beforehand. My laptop automatically starts loading images on the stick as soon as I plug it in (images that aren't in a folder I mean). So I put all the nude images of me into a password protected folder. It's not exactly difficult.

Mol

Well, accidents happen. Like the time I went back on hootoo forgetting that I had a desktop sharing session still open.

Money given to children *should* be spent on sweets. That's not a waste.

"Only a small portion of it will go towards supporting the priest's porn collection"

You're kidding, right? It's so hard to tell, bare text no smileys and all, but you are having a laugh, right?

It's just the massive cast iron balls of the man I can't believe, after doing something like that in front of a child and the parents of children, to then come back and ask for their children's money... I'm amazed he can fit balls that size under a cassock.