h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well.. the past few days, I've been trying an alternative approach to life. Instead of talking about doing things, I actually went and did them. A novel approach, i think you'll agree... but the results are kinda astounding. Well, not really... but it put me in a positive frame of mind for the week.

First off, I decided to do something about being pale and grey. So i went to the beach in Manly, a lovely little place just north of Sydney filled with Sand, Sun and something else that escapes me for the time being.... anyway - got the ferry there which was very pleasant - laughed at people in small boats getting capsized as we flew past (hehehe... shouldn't laugh really - I'll be in a small boat later in the month doing a race around Sydney Harbour so I'm sure the entry then will rue the day I laughed from the ferry!)

Anyway... I spent the day sunbathing and talking crap (those who know me will know this is not a strange occurrance) to one of my new Aussie pals, Kerin. (Great girl, she has the same passion for shooting people as I do... although I seem to be a helluva lot better at it than she is... practice my dear girl!) However, I decided to go on the safe side of things and use factor 25 lotion. So I think I ended up going home paler than I headed out.

The next day was, of course, glorious (the first weekend it hasn't rained) so I headed out to Manly again, this time planning to use a lower suncream to enhance my chances of ever turning white... I thought, I'll be alright - I'll buy the cream in Manly - they go sunbathing there so they'll have a better range, and sure, the ferry journey's only 15 minutes long. Needless to say by the end of the day, although I slathered myself with factor 15, my hands, knees and face are bright-ish red!! Still - I'll turn a lovely brownish hue afterwards but it always escapes me when I'm trying to bend my knees (ouchy! )

Now... onto my next rant of the evening. Fire Alarms. I hate Fire Alarms. With a vengance. If I could even half convey the disdain I have for the appliances, you'd turn away in horror... now I know they're useful little things - I particularly like the ones that you can turn off when there's obviously no fire anywhere. It's the ones built into the PA system that really get me going.... Let me paint a picture... it's 2:30am.. I've been the in pub, had quite a few drinks, came home and made my bed (literally - have to put mattresses and cushions on the floor).. and I've just finally dropped off to a happy warm peaceful slumber.

Then I hear a screeching wail... over and over, driving through my skull. I hit the alarm clock and nothing happens (for obvious enough reasons but when you're drunkish and half awake it makes perfect sense!) My housemates come into the room ready to kill me because my alarm's going off (see - it wasn't just me!). Then the wail changes pitch, and the most annoying Aussie accent you've ever heard starts telling you to evacuate the building immediately (followed a sound that makes the previous wailing sound like a ballad). As you can imagine i was pretty grumpy by the time i got downstairs. But I got even grumpier when I realised that the cause of our pain was a few teenage English idiots... Grrr... I was not a happy little bunny!

Funnily enough though, the same thing happened the next afternoon... but this time noone bothered to evacuate... actually the building is falling into a major state of disrepair.. the lifts broke down yesterday. I felt so sorry for the guy who was hitting the button waiting for it to come, cos (a) he lived on the 8th floor and (b) he was so stoned I think opening a door would be too much for him, let alone climbing 8 stories of stairs. Still, he seemed perfectly content to continue talking to the piece of wall I'd been standing near when I left him... he seemed to have trouble grasping the concept that the lift wasn't working now because he was sure it was working yesterday... Poor boy...

I should be leaving that building soon. I won't say more, because I seem to jinx it every time I do. Let's just say (oh - that's a Keelin term if I ever heard one! Now we'll see if she actually reads these journals!) that I'm taking the direct approach (which always worked in the past - I've never liked leaving decisions in other people's hands... they always make the wrong ones, like not letting me live with them!) I'll keep you posted when I get everything resolved, but I'm confident that this time, it should work.

And on that note, I'll leave you for the evening. Have to make a few phone calls and find out how a drunken debaucherous weekend in London went (assuming the guilty parties, who know who they are, can actually remember anything...)

I'll leave you with a link to a new study, too frightening to release... enjoy.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3541/frightening_study.html