h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

To quote myself, which I often do, i think this page is raptus regaliter. I seem to be having a problem with my code!

Sort it out, man! Brilliant idea.

I've had a quick shuftie at the source (rude, I know) and the DIV and extra BODY might be sending the parser off to sulk.

I've sussed the fancy two column h2g2 tables if you're interested.

Would be very interested . This is all getting beyond my coding ken...

I had a fiddle with this and the H2G2 tables don't really cut the mustard in this case. If you want to have a go, it goes a little something like this...


Left BOX TitleText for lefthand BOX (TEXT tag)
Right BOX TitleText for righthand BOX (TEXT tag)


This gives you two column text with a sexy little tone paint job in thge header but there's no provision for rows, as far as I can see.

Anyhow, http://www.h2g2.com/A113914 is your latin page in a bog standard HTML table. Hope you don't mind, but I wanted to read it

No problem at all. Glad you liked it. I tend to use them regularly to annoy co-workers and the like. (Can backfire if you send them to anyone who understands Latin).

As you will see from the code, I've just used the normal html while I check out your funkier method. I'll have to get one of those dummy's guide thingys I think.

Well, Fac me cocleario vomere! That's marvellous.

I have an addition but I can't remember it properly. Don't let the bastards grind you down. I think it contained the words Nil carberundum, and illigitimatum. There could even have been a desperadum in there aswell, who knows. Any ideas?

I found "Non illigitamus carborundum"" on the web, but I don't think it's accurate.

Probably not entirely accurate, but then what is? BTW, can I take it your first expletive was "Make me sick with a spoon"?

Might as well have my page title, Carpe Diem (Sieze the day)

Excellent.

I've found a few more good ones:
Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert. = Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes. = You have a big piece of spinach on your front teeth.
And the classic:
Abutebaris modo subjunctivo. = You've been misusing the subjunctive.

I'll update the table a bit later...

I'm also searching around for people using Latin today. I've found a Finnish radion station that does the news once a week/month in Latin. Mad people up there.

I'll get you, you wascally wabbit!
Te capiam, cunicule sceleste!

(I think we're looking at the same website now)

Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.

If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated and much too close.

Farrago fatigans! Are there no secret places left on this mad mad internet thing!

Certe, Si, sentio nos in Kansate non iam adesse.

Merkin haven't seen you in ages. How are you my old fruit?

Busy, busy, busy. Finally finshed moving house, but much hecticness at work, so haven't been able to give H2G2 devotion it deserves. Have been concentrating on getting everyone's backs up in the Death Penalty forum for the last couple of weeks, with a little light Latin relief here with Si.

Anyway, a little story for you this morning:

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find
an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the
best laugh he'd ever had.

Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni...

Try explaining that one to the garage! House moving - ugh finished now?

Hmmm, couldn't have been the most pleasant experience.

Yeah, all done on the moving front, although it's only a temporary solution so am liable to be off again before too long!! Living way out in the sticks now, so am hoping to move into town by Xmas.

How's your reviewing / grand editor in chiefship going?

Monday morning humour:
An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands.
Jill, the barmaid takes his order and notices his
Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk
quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she
wants to have sex with him.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then
offers to pay her $200 for the deed. Jill is travelling
the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again and after showing
her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if
she will sleep with him again for $200.

She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was
fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes on
for 5 nights. On the sixth night the guy comes into the
bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and
sits in the corner.

The girl is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should
pay him more attention. She goes over and sits next to
him. She asks him where he is from and he tells her
Melbourne.

"So am I" she says. "What suburb in Melbourne?"
"Glen Iris" he says.
"That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?" "Cameo
Street" he says.
"This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?" He says
"Number 20" and she is astonished."You're not going to
believe this" she says, "I'm from number 22 - my parents
still live there!"

"I know" he says, "your Dad gave me $1,000 to pass on to
you".

Oh that's wicked!! Very good though!! I haven't got any at the moment, so I can't throw one back at you. Sub-editing is fine, enjoying it at the mo.. I did hear a good joke at the weekend um um just can't remember it ... will get back to you on this one...!!

George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening
night of one of his plays to Winston Churchill with the
following note:

"Bring a friend, if you have one."

Churchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and
excused himself as he had a previous engagement. He also
attached the following:

"Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one."