h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm beginning to suffer a cold, my throat is feeling sore, a headache is starting an insiduous paradiddle that I just know will reach a crescendo of Wagnerian proportions within a couple of hours.

If any female members of GW are reading this, I can hear you saying to yourself, 'Ha, typical male, the world ends just because he's got a sniffle. Lying on the couch doing a fine impression of a dying swan...for God's sake man, get over it. If you only knew what we have to go through...'

I can't argue with you, no-one suffers as I suffer, no-one can milk the last drops of misery that a slight headache causes the way I can milk misery. Enfeebled, I will, with a wan movement of my hand, request that you pass the TV remote control; or with a sad face and eyes that resemble the features of a whipped puppy, I will entreat you to bring me a cup of tea, that magazine/newspaper/book, or a bowl of chicken soup.

Oh yes, I'm guilty of all these things. A typical male in emotional blackmail mode.

However, in approximately...oh, let me see...five hours time I'll be on stage in a play. The nerves are fraying, well, shredded actually, and I'm dreading the thought that I'll have to go through this week suffering from an ailment that is beginning to resemble the early stages of pneumonia. There I go again, making a three act opera about a sniffle.

I shall let anyone who reads this know how I've suffered for art.

And now the ailing albe shall have to make his way, shuffling and sniffling to the theatre.

Bye for now.

True. Dont worry about it!!!
I have made an absolute a**e out of myself many of times on stage- once being La La out of the bleedin telly tubbies! (-enuf about me, lets change the subject....QUICKLEY!!!)

- dont worry Im sure that by the time that you are actually stood on stage terrified- no petrified- with every reason to be!!! Im sure that your cold will have subsided with sheer fear!!!

But as far as the T.V remote, a cupper, and sympathy is; You know where the remote is, the kettle is in the kitchen, and the sympathy is non- existant....

ok. ok. too harsh? alright then here's your cup of tea- , Here's me getting your T.V remote at your slightest beg and call , and here is me giving you loads of sympathy .

Glad to see that I could be of service.

Candice XXX

Good luck.

Hi Candice, how are you today, I hope I find you fine and dandy.

Thanks for the sympathy, my mild cold that I thought was the onset of bubonic plague has abated, and I'm now as chipper as can be.

The show went well, no glitches.

The nerves are every bit as bad as they've always been, but I think that's a good sign. If you stop being nervous then you really don't care.

La-La...on stage...how intriguing...you must tell the good folk of GW all about it.

Bye for now...and thanks again.

albe.