h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After reading this entry it is quite obvious that the progenitor of the article has completely forgotten the reigns of Liverpool in the 70's and 80's and Arsenal in the 50's whereby the entire English nation (or so it seemed) would claim that they had, in fact, been fans of those teams for their entire lives. Even if they actually were born and lived in Yorkshire.

At this time, living near Leeds, I see the obligatory Manchester Utd shirts but there are many more Liverpool shirts being worn around here and also Arsenal shirts. Man Utd is the fourth most popular team in this region (Leeds being the other team above Man Utd in popularity).

I think the prize for the most gratuitous bitch about Manchester United in a sports related article should go to the writer of the article. Bravo, you have now pandered to the narrow minded perspective of people who know nothing about football but believe they know it all.

Yes you're right its a jealousy thing...though theres more to it.
The thing is with Man Utd is that they're an easy option for
"football supporters". You dont have to be so brave to support
them, as they win nearly everything. I was born near Norwich and
everybody at school in the early 70s either
supported Man Utd or Liverpool and why...for an easy life! I was an
outside cos I supported Norwich City FC and believe me it takes
alot of courage for the disappointment of supporting the underdog.

I have (admittidly, rather foolishly) fallen deeply in love with a born and raised Londoner. I am currently living in Chicago, but it looks like we are moving to his flat in Plumstead.

I have been informed that I am a Spurs fan. I have also been informed that this is something that will not change or I will be deported immediatly. I have also been informed that I HATE Manchester U.

I am currently taking mandatory lessons in how to yell "En-ga-land" and "Go you lilly whites!" properly.

Never, ever, argue with an Englishman about football.

Your comments do make some sense; living near Stoke (home of no decent football sides), but a lifelong Leeds supporter, it strikes me Liverpool have achieved something that no other club has, i.e their strip has taken on a fashion status all of its own. Liverpool strips are exceedingly common down here in Stoke and in Telford where I work at a level far greater than the success of the club would warrant. It may be that this is related to the teen icons playing for the club in recent years (Redknapp, Fowler, McMannaman, Owen). Some clubs CAN be successful by being just fashionable. I can never see Arsenal achieving this status....

Hmmmmm.....I knew it would just be a matter of time before this subject appeared. Personally I think everyone should be taken to task about football, I love to see a grown man tear his hair out at the sight and sound of an incompetent woman explaining the offside rule...specially when she says earnestly...that is right...honest...my husband/boyfriend told me!
I happen to be married to a football referree, so have many many convos about footie, its rules and enforcements...and am proud to be able to say that I fully understand the offside rule...just don't ask me to explain it...and if there is such a thing as a football widow...then I am she....
So, next time you are sat infront of the TV guys, with a few beers inside you on a Saturday night, hand tucked firmly inside your trousers yelling abuse at the man in the black strip...watch it...that could be my hubby!!

How many Man Utd fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One but you have to go to Kent to get him.

That would have been deeply, deeply funny if it hadn't been used a million times before. Origionality not some people's forte, it seems.

Apart from the fact that Man Utd did bugger all during the seventies apart from sport ridiculous hairstyles ...

Not just an English experience. In the states, we have fair-weather fans as well. The only difference is that our football league has passed several measures that level the field of competition a bit, so nobody stays on top for too long. But everyone in the 70's was a Pittsburgh fan, everyone in the 80's was a San Francisco fan, and everyone in the 90's have waffled between Dallas, Green Bay, and Denver. Just so you know you don't have a monopoly on sheep....

I am the aforementioned 'progenitor' of this article (well, the Man Utd bit anyway) and it's nice to see it's got people talking, or moaning in Raven Nidiot's case. I proudly accept the award of 'Most gratuitous bitch about Man Utd in a sports related article'. Lets face it with the amount of articles written on a similar theme (seeing as the majority of the nation agrees with me) I was up against some strong competition. I think the often used (and never disproved) statistic that 98% of Man Utd supporters have never set foot inside Old Trafford speaks for itself!

96% of statistics are made up on the spot. But if you still can't acknowledge the fact that there are just as many people "support" Liverpool or Arsenal without ever going to their grounds then there is little else to be said. See the last sentence in the last paragraph of my first post.

The difference between Man Utd and the other two is that, for whatever reason, everybody loves Liverpool and Arsenal but not Man Utd. They all have the belief that they have a divine right to win the title, they all have millions of fans around the world many of whom have never been to the respective grounds and they are all incredibly wealthy teams. These are the reasons people use when they say they don't like Man Utd so how come these self same reasons aren't used to dislike the other two?

There are two types of bandwagon that people jump on in English Football, those that jump on to support a succesful team and those that jump on to slag off another team. Either way they are all sheep without the mental abilities to formulate their own opinion.

As a Man Utd fan since I was 6 (two years after they came back from the second division and during a time when they were playing shite!) and a season ticket holder for 5 years (had to let it go, can't afford it) I go against the grain by not actually hating Leeds Utd. They are a good team at the moment and I'll be surprised if they don't win something this year but they have too many fans who fall into the second category stated above. I detest Liverpool, but only because I have a rabid hatred of all things scouse.

And I didn't say pootle was a bitch, I said he was gratuitously bitching. If he can't tell the difference bewteen the contexts, he should consult an English teacher.

I have to disagree on the point about everyone loving Liverpool and Arsenal, especially Arsenal. The Gooners have a well established reputation of punting the ball upfield with as little passing as possible. Many times they play 89 mintues of a 0-0 draw only to score in the 90th minute. The argument is always used about what a wonderful defence they have but ultimately it adds upto one thing, they're boring.

P.S If you actually look back at the last paragraph of your first post you will find I quoted your award title word for word, using bitch to mean grumble/complain and nothing else.

And you shouldn't assume that everyone who writes about football is male. You obviously don't know enough about the Flumps to know that Pootle is a female, and as a personal friend of the afformentioned Pootle, I can assure you that she gets worse abuse than that on a regular basis. Although she's already written herself a certificate for the award you gave her, and has it proudly displayed on her wall. Don't try to deny it Pootle!

Judging by how much good it's done us all by hating Man Utd over the last ten years, can I please ask everyone to start hating Newcastle United. Especially this weekend, and can everyone really really loathe us when we play Sunderland in a fortnight.
Cheers.

0-0 ties...this is exactly why soccer has failed to gain any real support in North America. It's not just a US thing, even the Canadians hate it. Soccer is the only sport where the offense has to slow down and let the defense catch up. If they got rid of that silly offsides rule, the game would be more wide open, and exciting. Add a few fast breaks to go with those penalty kick scores; it'll make better highlight film.

The sport had its golden chance just recently, in the women's World Cup. On home soil, the favored Americans took on China. And with the entire country watching, they played to a 0-0 tie. 120 minutes of scoreless soccer. The only exctiting moment was when that certain goal by China bounced off that girl's head. They all called it a great play, but all I saw was a girl who happened to be standing still in the right place at the right time. This will be the watershed for American soccer assosciations....as if!

One of the greatest things about football is that (unlike with pop bands and the record industry) no-one in Europe gives a toss if it makes it in the US or not. In fact, I'd prefer it if it completely died in the U.S. otherwise ALL the best players will end up transferring over the pond in order to make (even more) big bucks.

Goalless draws can be exciting games (OK, most aren't), especially when you see a multi-million pound attack being held by a group of poorly paid defenders. If you do away with the offside rule, you'd end up with a game as crap as basketball where the score is 98-87 or something. What's the point. You may as well get rid of the goalkeepers as they get in the way of the goal.

Actually, I was thinking it would end up more like hockey, with about 8 goal per game, until the defensive schemes evolved to catch up

I live about 1/2 a mile from the (English) National Hockey Stadium. On a good day you'll get at least 2000 people to watch a game.
Wembley gets about 70,000.

It's not broke, so don't fix it. Or call it American Soccer or something, but not football.

The only change I personally would like made to the game is to stick a transmitter in the middle of the football, with other transmitters on player's boots. With a series of sensors around a ground you could find out if a ball is offside, or over the goal line, thereby taking the decision away from the poorly situated ref & linesmen. Apart from that (and even then it doesn't really need it), the game is fine.

I recently attended a San Diego Gulls game (minor hockey team). Attendance was in the neighborhood of 15,000. Major League Soccer gets those kinds of numbers sometimes, and they're getting national tv coverage.

Only reason I brought this up is because there is a segment of the US population that does appreciate soccer, and dearly wants to see the sport succeed here. I find it odd that the entire world goes nuts for this sport, and yet most of my US and Canadian brethren can't seem to figure out what all the fuss is about.

IKWYM.
There are quite a few people in the UK who like American Football, but try as I might to enjoy it (with US friends who insist on 'Superbowl Nights'), it still looks to me like a load of steroid-addicts dressed like Sherman tanks running into each other playing a substandard game of rugby.
Mind you, the cheerleaders are worth watching.

You say soccer, I say football, let's call the whole thing off