h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The day started brilliantly The Bruv handed his car over to me to drive for the morning (Mercedes SL 300) Top down , sunglasses and snotty look on my face off I went. Being a careful driver I just zoomed past everything I saw on the road without giving the finger as I flashed by. My Bruv seemed to think it would help matters if he gripped the front of the dash as tightly as he could whilst clenching his teeth and moaning softly!!
After flashing up and down the by pass a couple of times I drove into Penzance main street as slowly as I could praying for someone I knew to see me in the car. I had to go up and down seven times before someone recognised me!!!.
I was not so pleased when I came home, the 'phone rang and it was the surgery. A message from my Doc. 'Go on a low fat diet now.'
I asked the girl why and she said I had to see the doctor next week and he will explain things. Well what could I do? The Bruv wanted to take us out to lunch and as we had the youngest grandson with us , off school because his new plaster on his broken leg was acting up, we went to Brewsters which is child friendly. I had sausage and mash and fried onions masses of it. The condemned mans' last fat full meal!
We came back to the house and I went up to the shop and bought Benecol spread,, yoghurt and wholemeal bread. I start as I mean to go on. Still no rain, I am not watering tonight as The Bruv goes back tomorrow and I will do it then. The Boss is not so well today and I will have to keep an eye on her.