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HandsomeJesus, again
PenJen Posted Oct 13, 2004
I knoww, and thank you. And NO you didn't!
I want to leave you a little message there, was on my way over but keep getting shot out of GW and having to resign in. 'Tis driving me CRAZZIE! It's taking me an age to accesa messagethen another wee while to post it. BUT I will leave a print of words for you.
Are you working on aything new? I just can't get my head round the titles for the '60 Worder', may have to through the towel in there. Time is tightening too and I'm swamped with other stuff, which IS good yes, but demanding on my thoughts. We'll see what happens. Good to hear from you.
Jen
HandsomeJesus, again
PenJen Posted Oct 13, 2004
I knoww, and thank you. And NO you didn't!
I want to leave you a little message there, was on my way over, but keep getting shot out of GW and having to re-sign in. 'Tis driving me CRAZZIE! It's taking me an age to access a message then another wee while to post it. BUT I will leave a print of words for you this night.
Are you working on anything new? I just can't get my head round the titles for the '60 Worder', may have to throw the towel in there. Time is tightening too and I'm swamped with other stuff, which IS good, yes, but now so demanding on my thoughts. We'll see what happens. Good to hear from you, though.
Jen
HandsomeJesus, again
handsomejesus Posted Oct 13, 2004
Hey Jen,
I've been trying to get on the site for about half an hour- same results...
I am working on something new. Don't know what the hell it's about yet, but I like it so far.
I will be throwing in the towel on the 60 word gig today. Don't have the time to crit everything- and to be honest, I feel like a bit of an outsider in the group. It's just not as constructive an exercise as I'd hoped. I mean no disrespect to the other participants.
I did like your 'homegrown' piece, it got me thinking a lot about how I write, etc. etc.
Love,
HandsomeJesus
HandsomeJesus, again
PenJen Posted Oct 13, 2004
Ah feck it! I've been kicked in and out of here for the last hour, yet I see that my last note got here in the end!
I have also had a real re-think on what I'm at here; 'writing-wise', and realise that I do chat TOO much and dart around a lot which steals precious time from doing 'live' writing and/or reading/reviewing - (which I think is also v.imp). There's just so much of it.
Will be handing in my notice on the '60 Worder', mainly because of time and, to be honest, not one of the 'titles' spoke to me. I have tried and I have read a few of the pieces posted, all the obvious story-lines have been tackled. My brain is in a different world from that town.
As for how YOU write - DON'T change. You have a very unique and engaging style. I really admire it and wish I had that kind of quality of insight. I just can't 'imagine' tackling a 'short story' at all. 'Real' pieces, like my 'Village Buttons' and 'poetry', are all truth-based to some extent. Can't alter that.
What do you think and what is it that you are thinking about your own writing? I am interested.
Remember that we come from opposite sides of the world and have very different life-styles, time-scales, experiences and maybe even footwear!
I'm here for an hour or so.
Lazy-fecked-off-with-bleeding-computers-Jen
HandsomeJesus, again
handsomejesus Posted Oct 13, 2004
Hey,
I turned in my 'notice' as you put it. I didn't want to put anybody off and have people thinking I wasn't appreciative of their crits, but you know about my computer availabilty. Trying to get all that critiquing done, while on the clock, just wasn't working. And I was often disappointed with what I'd read, and even more disappointed by some of the chickenshit problems people would have with my posts. That's beside the point...
About what I've been thinking, as far as MY writing goes-
up until recently, I think I had been trying to establish a "style". Something distinct, a style that made people know instantly who they were reading. (None of this is intended as arrogant). You know how you can hear a Tom Waits song, or a Charlie Parker saxophone solo, or see a Picasso impression, and... you don't even have to ask anyone, "Who's that"?
I decided, maybe I've been trying too hard...
I came to this site with some notion in my head that said, "Someone will notice you here, Someone will pick you up, someone will get you to where you want to be". (I have a bad habit of letting my brain lie to me).
And in a way, I have gotten "picked up". You see Jen, I'm not someone who is very good at asking for things. So, it seems like I would go to the end of the earth to get MYSELF to where I want to be. But, I have encountered too many blocks; mostly self-imposed.
I have a small "support group" on here, that seems to really like my work, and they show it through praise. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at giving out praise, and that is the whole IDEA behind this site. Help each other out, make each other better.
But its like you say, about the "chatting too much". All the tight knit groups on here seem to spend more time chatting, and telling each other how great they are, and making jokes about each others work. Though, in person, I am one of the least serious persons in the world, I do take writing VERY seriously. Most people are only good at one or two things, some pursue them, some become wealthy (financially secure) because of them...
... I understand that it may be very different in Ireland, but 'round here you don't get your parents house when they die. My parents, er my Mom, doesn't even live in a house. When my mother dies, heaven forbid, all I'll get is a mortuary bill. Out here, you've got to make your own way.
All these arrogant millionaires you see on tv, none of them are any smarter than you or me. Most were born into wealth, or got lucky somewhere along the way, got on oard at just the right moment. That pisses me off. I feel like a have an actual talent, but the reality of it is, I will likely die a nobody...
... Don't worry, I'm not depressed, or suicidal or anything. I just feel like I've been beating my head against a wall for sometime now, and the voice on the other side of the door keeps saying "you're doing great", but I never get to see the face.
Let me tell you a little secret about me, my writing. I don't think I've ever written anything that didn't have at least a bit of my life in it. When I was a student, the most valuable info I ever got was when a teacher told me that, "if you don't write what you know, no one will ever believe it". I'm not saying that everything I write has happened to me, but almost everything I write has been at least witnessed by me.
Which is where I started rethinking my style. I read your 'Buttons' story and thought to myself, "there's is no way you could write something like that". It was so clean. You could give that work to your Grandmother to read, and you wouldn't have to omit a thing. My life seemed so f*****d up after reading your story, that I didn't know what else to think...
But, you're right. I shouldn't, and won't change my style. I may try to "broaden my horizons", but I won't stray from what I know. "You don't ask the #1 lefthander to go out there and start throwing right-handed curveballs when he's reached the World Series". I don't know if I'm ready for the World Series, but I won't get anywhere if I try to start over again.
I should thank you, Jen. Typing all this crap out is somewhat therapeutic for me. I'm sorry for the burden. I think I basically ended where I started. You have been pretty supportive of my efforts, and you don't even know me. For that, I am appreciative.
Hell, this post is so damn long, it could easily be a short story itself (haha). I could call it, "My best impersination of a John Fante story".
I will continue to read your stuff. I'll let you know when I post something new. Thanks, Jen.
Love,
HandsomeJesus
HandsomeJesus, again
PenJen Posted Oct 15, 2004
Brad,
Thanks for sharing all this with me. I do know where you're coming from. I too am SERIOUS about my writing, maybe more than I let on, and every thing I write is based on personal truth/experience. I can only write of what I know. And I could distinguish a piece of your work from someone else's without a doubt. There are only about 10 others here that have that quality.
As for:
'... I understand that it may be very different in Ireland, but 'round here you don't get your parents house when they die...'
That doesn't happen here either, let me tell you. There's major shite in my wardrobe too, without a doubt. I've only ever hinted of a little of it, so sometimes I want to remember the 'sweet things' moreso, depends on the mood.
As to my last piece, 'Village Buttons', Lurch also mentioned that it was 'sugary' and so seemed 'unbelievable' and 'idealistic'. That's fair comment. But that's how I remember it, or wanted to. I never mentioned the car accidents, the alcoholism, the stabbings, violence, the beatings, single parents, the poverty, the greed, the hate, murder, unemployment, drugs, depression, domestic viollence, all the suicides - (we have one of the highest % in Europe) - ectera, ectera. Same major shite; different country. It's still there. I just choose NOT to write about it, yet.
Yeah, 'my Grandma' could read this if she were still alive. Wasn't that close to the woman in the first place, to be honest. God, if I were to write about her you wouldn't believe it. Domineering, hard, cold... There's a 'sweet' truth for you. Incapable of ever loving and by God don't the following generations suffer. Who isn't fecked up, one way or the other? No bleeding thatched cottage and home-made pies here, I'm afraid. Sorry to soil the 'myth'.
Sh!t, I'm getting as bad as you on length here. Ah well, let it all hang out, I guess. I can't believe that I just spat that all out up there. Will leave it as is as is truth. My truth.
And for what it's worth, I admire your work and will read without request, so keep it up and do take care.
Jen
x
Silence of the Lambs?!
handsomejesus Posted Oct 25, 2004
Hey hey,
Long while...
:Call it, temporary clarity
All that b!itching I was doing must've jarred something loose. I wrote one and posted it a coupla days ago. I don't know if you'll like it, doesn't seem normal to me that I wrote it like that.
How're you? Im on my way to your port for a look at your recent happenings...
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HandsomeJesus, again
- 1: handsomejesus (Oct 13, 2004)
- 2: PenJen (Oct 13, 2004)
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