h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Penjen,
Thanks for suggesting I put Dance of Life up for the "For Better for Worse" anthology. Dunnit. But I also wanted to put in "Have you seen my Wife - A2857881" but it's not allowed. Only one each. I just wondered if I could ask you to recommend it - and if you've one you'd like me to recommend for you - I'll do it. You know I'm an admirerer - so if its something you like, it'll be something I'll love. How about it, mate?

Bribrow

Good morning Mate!

Well, it's 8:44am Sunday with me. Another latenight/early morning, and becasue it's the day it is I'm loving it!

As to your suggestion, well you saved me alot of bother.
Had your poem 'Dance For Life' and another one of yours in mind, to be honest. I also had a few other poems from other poets jiggling about, so many brilliant onesto choose from, that I'd have loved to have reccommended. Unfortunately, it can never be.

I will nominate 'Dance For Life', that's a given. I really did love that.
As for one of mine, I have no idea. I will think about it and maybe if you're up for it, time permitting of course, you could glance at them and choose one yourself. Would that be OK?
Gotta go. My Godson, who stayed with us last night, is looking for Wettabix and is annoying my wee dog, Shorty. As I type, I hear wee paws pitter-pattering madly on wooden floor trying to escape a hyper 6 yr old. There goes another squeal! Chaos!
Gotta go. Back later, hopefullly. That is if the dog hasn't eaten the kid or the kid hasn't murdered the dog! AGGGHHH!!

Jen ............................. H-E-L-P!!

Agreed - let's be having a peek!
Bribrow

Opps sorry for the delay, having wee bit of trouble locating pieces .... AAAGGHH!

Will be with ye soon, sir! .....................................

FINALLY BRIBROW!! Phew!

OK, from my little folder I've come up with a few BUT I do not want to infringe on your time too much. I guess this list is as much for me as it is for you; thtais if you STILL want to stick with your original suggestion of us nominting each other unless you have come across something much more worthy from another writer. That would also be no problem with me, honest!

POETRY:

Unnatural Fit - A2807778
A Piece of Work - A2878455 (Both sort of about Domestic Violence)
Justice or Just-Us - A2617364 (A one-sided love affair)
Candle Facts - A2921483 (About past r'ships and now settled in a present one)

COMEDIC COMMENT PIECES (?!)::

My Funny Valentine - A2604296 (The search for a man with a sense of humour over looks)
More Weddings than a Fuddle - A2825309 (Preparations of going to that first wedding as a guest)

*************************************

The one's that I am must impressed with, of yours, are:

The Space Between
Falling So Easily A3009999 (or is it A3046934 ?)

I absolutely adore the second one, it gives me goose -pimples every time I read it. And I really admire the quality and slick skill of the first one. Which would you prefer for submission? I'm happy for either.

These could also be contenders that you may suggest in the 'Purple Park' Anthology thread:

What's Love All About? A2979408
Have You Seen My Wife? A2857881

(The latter I might suggest a title change to create a little more suspense? )

Are you still there? B-R-I-B-R-O-W???????

Sorry this is so long and TAKEN so long. And also many thanks for your wonderful and helpful crit on 'Wave Goodbye'. I really do appreciate it. i'll post comment there later. It's a piece that has been with me for a very, very long time and I really want it to WORK somehow, somewhere.

Well, I'll leave the 'Master' in peace and get back to me whenever, no rush!

I'm away to read 'Closure' that I seem to have missed, (how could I! ), and leave a little print on your 'haiki' collection!

Jen

Hi Penjen,
Nice to have you back - where did you disappear to - don't tell me - none of my business.

Of your poems, the one I enjoyed most was "Unnatural Fit". Unfortunately, it had a tiny flaw (to my eye). You mention, in the pre-penultimate stanza, "substance on the underside of your shoe" then in the final stanza you say "dirt on your soulless sole". If the two ideas were connected that might work but I can't see a connection.
Also, if this were mine, I'd delete the first two lines of the last stanza and combine the last two stanzas into seven lines. I'd also punctuate the first two lines in your fifth stanza

I'd be every happy to recommend this, whether you changed it or not, but I think it would be improved if you did make the alterations.

Of the comedic pieces, both of which I enjoyed immensely, I liked best "My Funny Valentine". (So you like funny blokes - there's a chance for me after all, in spite of my advancing years!). Here again I noticed, in the final para, you use "unphotograpicable" - did you mean to say "unphotographable" or have I missed something there?

Whichever you choose to place, I'll be pleased to give you a more detailed crit. if you want, although, both these pieces already seem close to perfection to me.

As for my stuff - if you like "Falling So Easily" A3046934 then I'd be very happy with that.

Not sure what you mean about the purple park anthology. What are the criteria? Is there somewhere I can get the details?

Glad you haven't "Waved Goodbye" to me Jen after my recent crit - a fine example of "tough love" - even if I do say so myself. Anyway, that's my excuse!

Bribrow

Awh... Bribrow, YOU are such a BIG DOTE!!! You have been SO busy and thanks you so much for shuffling through all of this so quickly and thoroughly! I count my lucky stars thta I bumoed into you and your wonderful being and words! I have made the neccessary changes you suggested and agree that it reads a lot tighter with the edit. I also threw in a few more comma and full-stops as maybe ther was too much open punctuation. So thanks for your help there, take a look and see if it is how you meant it to be. As for the 'Funny Guy', (glad you liked! Pity you live in 'Nice', eh?! ); it was indeed a typo and I will adjust it. Cheers! What I meant about the 'Purple Park Anthology' thread is that it is for us to post suggestible pieces for further review, if require any improvements, and also to introduce it/them to each other as a possible choice/contender in the 'GW Anthology'. The thread is: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/getwriting/F1888739?thread=490336&latest=1#last And I see that you are already subscribed to it. Sorry if I was a bit hazy there. I would post the three other A*** pieces, (from above), in there as they could catch someone's attention, from the group, to put them forward. Give it a go and best of luck! As for 'Waving Goodbye', I'm sorry to tell you but I ain't leaving on the 'A-Train', Kid, not for a LONG time anyway! I Like it too much tucked in here! (I'm lchilling out with Jazz at the moment, Ella & Sarah Vaughan - fabulous! ) So, would you be happy if I posted 'Falling So Easily' as my choice for the Anthology? I think it is outstanding and glad that it is I who got to reccommend it! BTW, sorry I didn't get to post comment on your other poems, but I will, PROMISE!! Plus there's no need for you to post a further crit on the 'comment' pieces, I'm just chuffed you read them, so again, thank-you, hon! You're a wee ! Jen x

Okay Penjen - I'm just about to nominate your "Unnatural Fit" for future stardom. Wish you luck darlin'
Bribrow

Thanks honey!!

I will post my nomination for Sir Brib's later! If at least one of us or, any one from the 'Purple Park' get accepted, I'll be delighted! It's enough for me that people read and enjoy and it would be a further honour to be included in te 'Anthology'. Fingers, toes, legs and arms all crossed, sweetie! Can feel the ole bones creaking!

Jen
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