h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Helen

Friday was M4 day. Damn, but I hate that motorway. I have lived in Wales for 30 years and originally from Kent so I have had many, many trips up and down the M4 to visit me mum and friends. It was a great relief when she moved to Wales fifteen years ago!


Then what happens but my daughter moves to London has children then goes to Germany that requires regular trips to Heathrow. Depending on traffic it takes three and a half to five hours so a round trip of taking Val to Heathrow and driving back is an all day job. I'm glad that they don't have tachometers in cars like buses and lorries - I would have had to sleep in laybys so that I don't fall foul of excess hours at the wheel. You can fly from Cardiff and Bristol but that require changing at Schipol, takes hours more and costs double.

I had problems with a post - it was modded three times. Normally I can' t be bothered but I was suffering from motorway madness by the time I got home and kept chopping the file until it stayed. Sometimes I like a challenge.

It is chucking it down today so I can't do any work outside. As I have the house to myself (apart from the Mad Woman in the West Wing) for the next week I am going to do something that I have been thinking about for a long time and start writing a novel. The main thing that has stopped me is that I could not think of a story! But I have had an idea of a beginning so I will have to see whether it will work as far as a middle and end.

This is the file that upset the mods. The Last Post is on the Board.



They thought it was all over…

Dispirited they trotted away from the theatre of nightmares.

"What are we going to do now that we're out?", snuffled one mournfully.

"Dunno. Mind you, it was getting harder to come up with any more Rooney puns…our English heroes…blah, blah, blah", said his little pink friend.

"Good point, good point. Still…", his voice trailed off. "But…but…", he squeaked with excitement "it doesn't have to end there! How about '10 things we hate about Switzerland', or 'Roo-inned - Mr Potato Head's clumsy trip over his own foot destroys England's chances".

"Nice one my son", squealed his porky friend "What about a medical angle? Beckham's two-in-a-bed love romp with woman causes myopia". His mate rolls his piggy eyes "Don't like skinny ones me, seen more fat on a butcher's pencil". His chum winces at the mention of a meat merchant. "Sorry mate, bad taste, but any way it looked more like Becks was doing a Johnny Wilkinson drop kick", they both chuckle at this bon mot.

"There was some trouble back home - three of four attacks on Portuguese property by fans. Do you think there is any mileage in a 'Would the UK be better off without the English' - it would work well on the JV show". His mate slaps his trotter across his chum's snout "Loose talk pal - that could cost you your job", he oinked angrily.

Their pace picks up as they ignore a Portuguese newspaper stand that advises a 100 dead and 250 injuries in Iraq.

"Look, we've got enough material to keep us busy for months, freebie holiday to wherever 'Who ate all the pies' is going - a few candid pics' Luvly jubly". His little eyes sparkled with pleasure "It's going to be a long hot summer".



Pretty mild for me, eh?

Speak to you later