h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

wax the cieling
losten lug nuts on your dads new car
drop cat from high place to see if it really lands on its feet
repeat above untill faliure
rearrange political campaign sighns
sharpen your teeth
play houdini with one of your siblings
braid your dogs hair
clean and polish your belly button
water your dog, see if he grows
wash a tree
Genuflect to Lawrence Welk
Kight yourself and some close friends
Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending
Flirt with an evergreen
Scare Steven King
Give your cat a mohawk
Purr
Mow the carpet
rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings)
Whine
Play Pat Boone records backwards
Re-elect Richard Nixon
Dress like your favorite heavymetal group.... scare your grandmother
Listen to a painting
play with matches
trip an old lady
buff your cat
raise professinal racing ferrets
Paint your room day glo orange
dial-a-prayer and argue
read Homer in the origional greek
learn Greek
change your mind
change it back
watch the sun, see if it moves
Mail Herry falwell a Husteler magasine
Recite romantic poetry... to your toaster
paint your windows
flash your goldfish
paint
smile
paint a smile
shoot a fire hydrant
apologise to it
see if you can really create a small newuclear weapon in your basement
rotate your garden, daily
plant a shoe
wright letters to the political officials that ar representing you and tell them what a good job they are doing on 4/1
sweat
give a roschach (ink blot) test to your girbil
take apart all your major kitchen appliances
mix and match the parts
turn your tv picture tube upside down
take your sofa for a walk
wright a letter to Plato
mail it
start
stop
dial 911... breathe heavily
go to a funeral... tell jokes
put lighted EXIt sighns on all your closets
carry a tune
drop it to see if it breas
starch your shos
contemplate a cocroach
get a dog to chase your car
let him catch it
form a political party
Throw a political party
climb a sidewalk
ride a loaf of bread
annoy yourself
get angry with yourself
stop speaking to yourself
kiss and make up
stand on your head
stand on someone elses head
learn all there is to know about the Holey Roman Empire
Read a Harlequine Romance novel.... but only if you are REALLY bored!
build a pyramid
paint your teeth
wear a salad
speak with a forked tounge
MAKE a drive in window at your local bank
walk on water... but DONT get caught
shave a shrub
have a proton fight
watch a car rust
quiver
confess to a crime that you didnt comit
learn to type with your toes
Buy the Brooklyn Bridge


haha! these mad me laugh... i hope i made your day less boring! SMILE!
cheers
ford

haha! I'm gonna e-mail that to som of my friends! thas great!

then knight them!
cheers
ford

what am i knighted??

i havent knighted you yet... then you will be a knight of the curvy sword table that sword sucks
AH! OK!! HOW CAN YOU BE MARRIED TO A "WOMAN" FOR 23 YEARS AND NOT NOTICE ITS A GUY?!?!
cheers
ford

~~~HAPPY~NEW~YEAR~~~

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? A WOMAN????? im lost!!

*tard*
ok... a dude was married for 23 years, with me sofar?
he didnt notice that the person he was married to was a woman...
get it?
cheers
ford

~~~HAPPY~NEW~YEAR~~~

ok so a GUY is married to a WOMAN but he didn't know she was a WOMAN??

NO!! a GUY is married to a GUY but he thought it was a woman!
chers
ford

OMG I GET IT!!!! sorry, i was a little confused there for a minute!

LMAO!!!
your cool dude!
cheers
ford

ik!! lol

well im glad your feelin better
hate to see my friends down in the dumsters, dumpster diving, or somethin!
cheers
ford

i feel a little better but im still kinda hurt

im sorry! veryone always has a cut on the inside... get some novacane.. itll help haha
cheers
ford

i hate them all, and i think i just drank a whole bottle of NyQuill

why??????????cheers
ford

idk, something to do? lol

it should be a smilie.

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHEERS!!!
ford
HAPPY 2005