h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Confusion! Chaos!

No, not really, but it sounds more dramatic than "Woke up, started a fire, drank coffee, let the dogs out, logged on." Actually I'm surprised at how early I'm up today (9:45 Central) considering how much whiskey I drank last night. I think I put away around 11 Windsor/7's before I collapsed into bed. This is one of the wonderful things about my wife, by the way: She never chastises me about drinking. Ever. Oh, she'll make fun of me if I'm hung over and demand that I still do all the things we had planned for the day but she never says things like "I wish you wouldn't drink so much" or "Why don't you look like Brad Pitt?" A truly wonderful, remarkable woman.

Now let's see, what's on the agenda for today, hmm? Writing? Watching a movie? Oh, I know, how about getting a job and making some money?! I keep waffling between working on my own (on a 100% commission basis) or getting a job somewhere outside the house. The thought of having to work in an office makes my blood run cold so I try not to think about it. I don't fit in an office as I'm unable to keep my true feelings to myself. Some people don't seem to have a problem with it (and really, why would they?) but most folks have some sort of aversion to voicing a real opinion. They're all very comfortable talking about the weather, or music, or television (which is another subject entirely) but as soon as you bring up religion, politics or their mothers they go stone-faced and quiet. After that you hear a lot of whispering and people smile at you too much. I'm perfectly capable of playing that game, and even acting the fool and entertaining (which makes you wildly popular as a 'drinking buddy') but at the end of the day it's pointless. If I'm going to act all day at work I may as well move to L.A. and become a struggling waiter.