h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At last, at long bloody last, our embarrassment of a Prime Minister has announced the election date. 24 November.

While it's good to know the date at last, this will make my life chaotic for the next six weeks. It's my job, you see. Everything I've written lately for the Minister for Anguished Moans will have to be re-written, unless it's already been signed and sent out. I'm a bit worried about this - at last report there was a stack of unsigned papers two feet high in the Minister's office.

So anyway. If I'm more tired and grumpy than usual over the next few weeks, it'll probably be because I'm up to my neck in the fallout from the political proces.

Come election night I'll probably be at home, getting drunk, watching the coverage on telly and making the odd sour comment here.

Well here's some to get you through the next 6 weeks. And please do show up here on the night and make sour comments. Unless of course there is reason to make sweet and sour comments

I'm waiting for the serious mud-slinging to start. Any minute now, probably. I'm going to try not to pay too much attention to the campaign; I need to think of my blood pressure. If I do happen to pay attention by some terrible accident, I'll do my best not to drag the full details on here - I don't fancy getting yikesed for foul language every day.

Thanks for the . I'll be needing it.

Sheesh... and I thought the news of the impending tax inspection was bad! Here, you'll need these: FingerPads(TM) They are in the style of knee protectors but especially designed for those of us who abuse our tippies with too much banging on the keyboard.

That doesn't sound fun! Though I can relate to enormous piles of paperwork...

Are you sure we can't hear you swear a bit about it all? Some of us find it quite amusing. I'll be sure to (try) follow along with the election so I might have some idea what you'll be suffering through.

Well, I for one am delighted

Not only will I be able to vote but I'll be back in Oz for the second half of the campaign and the actual vote

Sorry to hear that it's a pain in the rear for you though Ivan

It's a colossal pain Fb, but at least we're in with a chance of a sane outcome this time. I'm glad you'll be back for the vote - we need a Voice of Reason in your part of the country.

Thanks for the finger-pads, Wilma. I'll be needing them, definitely.

Pc, I may mutter a bit under my breath now and then... I will try to keep it to a minimum though.

Some good news - the poison dwarf has the Exclusive Brethren on his side. Almost guaranteed to lose him the election (at least that's true in NZ ).

I'm certainly hoping the Exclusive Brethren will be a liability for the little . The hanky-heads give me the creeps; if they can't vote on 'religious grounds', why the blazes do they interfere in the process?

I could always start a fire if the piles of paper get too high...

Thank you. I'll let you know if we need your particular skills with paper disposal.

On the bright side, it seems the Minister signed a lot of things over the weekend. We might not end up suffering as badly as we might have done.

I rather like DQ's way of dealing with excess paperwork. One day last month I was so overwhelmed with paperwork (96 repossessions in 30 days!) I taped a sign that said "In Box" on the front of my paper shredder, much to the amusement of various coworkers.

Glad the Minister caught up some of the paperwork backlog. Hopefully nothing will happen to necessitate changes and additional signatures.

I'm tempted to put a 'Customer Feedback' sign on the shredder.

I've always thought one of these would prove very useful:

http://www.prankplace.com/complaintdepartment.htm

Oh how dreadfully tempting.

The news has just started. I must put a DVD on...

why not get a signature stamp in stead of a minister? Must be much handier, and cheaper as well. Just some ink every now and then.

There was a swedish king in the 18th century who was sort of replaced with a signature stamp to everyones benefit. The king could do what he liked and the government could run the country.

Unfortunaterly the next king made himself a dictator and messed things up. Anyway he was shot later.

Was that Gustavus III, or was there another one shot? (Yes, my knowledge of 17th/18th century Swedish history hinges on Queen Christina, Carl XII and the wreck of the 'Vasa'. The rest of it's a bit sketchy.)

Some of our previous Ministers have basically been signature stamps. Unfortunately, this last one liked to get involved in the details of everything. Result: nothing ever got done properly.