h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd hate to break it to you guys, but I just came back frim the Portal of Doom. It tkaes you to a nice steak house, and if you ask them nicely, they let you come back.

There are at least five in the building I'm in now. It's designed by medics for medics and is thus confusing to people who don't live in it. Sometimes you can find yourself exiting by a door you usually ignore, due to the fact that it has "Warning - Stay Out" and biohazard signs all over it.

can they appear without you seeing them?

Only if they immediately rush over to an empty forest where they can fall down in safety and comfort.

I once ate a portal of doom. Somebody slipped it into my taco. I had one helluva case of the runs that night.

If teleportation is ever invented, would people take to getting small ones implanted in their rectums and bladder to obviate the need to ever go to the toilet again?
People would be forced to concentrate at school, too; there'd be no need for people to deliver pizzas.

Wow, what a deep thought... There would be many practical uses for a portal of doom... Hmmm.. Geez, waste disposal? I'd use it for
people-I-don't-like disposal. Now that's practical!

hahahahahhahahahahahahah....ooph