h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm... I clicked on the splangly-all-new-and-improved "who's online" thingie and I didn't recognize any of the names except mine. No one has replied specificially to any of my forum entries in a week...

... where IS everyone???

Well, here I am, replying (specifically) to one of your forum entries. Happy?

Yes.

That out-of-school-not-seeing-friends-thing had just kicked in at that point. I'm much better now.

Well, I'm happy too then...

I'm not quite sure *why* I'm happy, but still...

That might be a problem... but then again, being happy for no discernable reason is better than the alternative...

Oh, you must mean being a piece of cheese?

perhaps...

Well, then, if that's the case, there's no competition - I'd rather be a piece of cheese...

So you flip from being a piece of cheese and a roasted amoeba?

I think I'd like to be a pudgy little penguin, but then I repeat myself.

Well, I can't be a roasted amoeba *all* the time, now can I? It would probably get boring. One thing I've always wanted to be is a desk, but I haven't quite managed that one yet...

We'll all be waiting anxiously for you to achieve it.

When I achieve the transcended state of being a... desk... then I shall be sure to inform you...

Good boy.

lalalalala... I feel like singing for no particular reason. Interesting.

The hills are alive...

They are, aren't they? I wondered why the ground tended to shift away from where it had been each time I took a step. I guess they don't take kindly to being trod upon.

Heh heh... Can you blame them?

Not at all.

The ground shook underneath my feet today, too... but I think it has something to do with the fact the road in front of my house was being resurfaced. Slightly frightening in any case.

Well, yes... I suppose it would be...

They never seem to resurface any roads in England. They either ignore the road, and let it go to ruin, or else they build a new road in a totally different place...

Strange...

Quite. Pennsylvania's road system is so bad, they just keep building roads on top of roads on top of roads... in some places I bet the streets are several feet thick. Also, if the yellow/white lines need repainting, they don't paint over them with black or remove them-- they just repaint right overtop of them. This results in roads that have hundreds of lines on them. It's so lovely of "them" to do so....

I know... governments... don't ya just love 'em?

(Hey - I nearly managed an American accent... )