h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just ate a nice salad. Lettuce, "rainbow salad" (broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, and other stuff cut up into tiny slivers about the size of a bean-sprout), turkey, onion, feta cheese, topped with vinegar and oil dressing. Very yummy, and nutritious, too!

My doctor's office called the other day, and informed me that my choloesterol was too high. They already had me on 10mg of Lipitor a day, and now he's upped it to 20mg. I was also prodded once again to watch my diet. *sigh* And I do so love the Wednesday's I've been spending eating hot-wings! Guess I'll have to find a new entree... hehehe.

Anywaze, Fenny just called. C-ya!

Bah! Salads are for wimps, sir! For WIMPS!

Ha! The amount of garlic and oinion I put into 'em, they're a MANLY dish! MANLY I tell ya! (Now's where Fenny should chime in and say: "Manly? YES! But I like it too! You'll have to have experience with American Commercials to get this one)...


da Baron
ptewie!<<--------------------*

"I've got it! We feed the pidgeons CHEESE!"

Manly? YES! But I like it too!



It may have something to do with that fact that my blood is 60% garlic, 30% lemon juice.

Which explains why neither one of us have any fear whatsoever of VAMPIRES! One sip of our blood would burn their lips just as surely as they'd kissed the Pope's crucifix!

Now, what *I'M* wondering is how the second-bananna from "Tool Time" got to be the "Internet Professor"?

da Baron

ptewie!<<----------------------------*

"Pidgeons! Flannel-wearing machine-shop workers teaching people about the internet! What's the world coming to?"

I believe if you listen to Dr. Laura, she'll tell you what the world's coming to

The fundie and feminazi minorities ruling with an iron fist? But she's WRONG I tell ya! We're gonna RULE THE WORLD!

ACK! Sorry, that's ANOTHER forum!

da Baron

ptewie!<<---------------------*

"As if the bloody pidgeons aren't bad enough, now we have DR. LAURA!"

Why are you even SPEAKING with each other? It's IMMORAL and DIRTY! Do you even KNOW each other? How can you SPEAK to each other without knowing a single thing about each other! Tell me - what are the dimensions of Sporky's kitchen? Eh? You don't know? I didn't think so. How can you not know that? So fast, these days. This is disgusting. What is this world coming to....

*sobs*

But I don't have a kitchen anymore! I was a homosexual, and through my perverted, pedaphiliac ways, as well as extensive intake of narcotic drugs, including heroine, I alienated myself from my family, and gradually lost my sanity, and soon after I was living in the streets! It wasn't until I heard the voice of reasoning, YOU, Dr. Laura, that I strayed from my wicked ways, and stepped once more unto the light of God. Now I am a happily married man, living in quiet respite, with my teenage wife and my three children, one from a whore that I keep on the side, in a trailer park in Kansas. Thank you, Dr. Laura! Thank you! Without your knowledgable insight, who knows where I would be now!

This post has been removed.

I disappear for a few days, and look what happens! FENCHURCH changes into DR. LAURA! This is a NIGHTMARE!

I'm gonna go hide someplace until this blows over!


da Baron


ptewie!<<------------------------

"Argh! Dr. Laura keeps PIDGEONS!"

Blows over? I hope you're not referring to SEXUAL PRACTICES which aren't geared towards PROCREATION! And I REALLY hope none of this is taking place in the sinful kitchen your... er.. 'friend' so reveres!

Nope. I've never even been NEAR Sporky's kitchen! I PROMISE! Actually, I know more about YOUR kitchen, Fenchurch! For example, I know you've got breadstick cereal in there someplace, tomato soup, chocolate, beer, and other sundry goodies!

Do you REMEMBER?

Please say you do! I'd hate for my SECOND-FAVORITE human being to turn into Dr. Laura PERMANENTLY!

da Baron

ptewie!<<------------------------

"Ack! Pidgeon! Target FENCHURCH, and see if the shock of the sudden wetness snaps her out of it!"

second favorite? Fenny is seconds to you?

Gaa! *Fenny suddenly morphs, not unlike the people in that old Michael Jackson video, into her former self...*

The way it should be, oh versatile plastic serving utensil of the gods who would rather be the utensil of the Toadies! Even Dr. Laura would rightly agree!

Hmmm... I guess da flyin' cockroaches have some use after all! AMAZING stuff, pidgeon-droppings. Fenny, I hope you know, deep in your heart, that I would NEVER turn the pidgeon air-force on YOU, except in cases of possession by Dr. Laura! I figure ANY indignity beats that one!

Ms. Creole is tellin' some lady to hook up wif da dude she met "a-playin' BINGO!"... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hmmm... Mebbie I watch too much tee-vee.

Dat's RIGHT! You tell 'im homegirl!

hey, I tell it like it is

Hmmm... My nephew is buddy-buddy with the Toadies...

must be nice

He seems to enjoy them...