h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Welcome to Webworld, how may I serve you"
"I just been lookin at this internets, and its been telling me that some Kerry bloke was running against me for president, so I talked to rummy, and he said that it was a lie, and that it was all terrorist Propoganda, how can I keep my Mak-In-Tush safe from all that?"
"Okay, what you need to do, Mr President is, do you have a toaster?"
"Yeah"
"And a Fork?"
"Uh-Huh"
"What I need you to do is put some bread in the toaster, and then stick your fork into the heating element there"
"And then the terrorists wont be able to get me"
"Thats right"

I am sure I have heard that one for communists, socialists, neo-cons, idiots and the french

Okay then

"Welcome to Webworld, How may I serve you"
"My Internet Thingie, it aint working"
"Okay, Whats your account number"
"Uhh, whats that"
"Okay, whats your username"
"I dunno, is that My name?"
"Your phone number?"
"I dont know"
"Okay, do you have a phonebook handy?"
"Yeah"
"What I want you to do, is pick it up, and beat yourself to death with it!! NEXT" *click*

WebWorld: Connecting you 1 day per week, or your PORN spam is free!

Frank the wonder lama

The biggest difference between my job and that of an Air traffic controller - The guy that the air traffic controller talks to usualy knows how to fly the plane. The guys that I talk to think that if you unplug the mouse, and plug in their pet cat, it will work fine.

Biggest difference between a normal archivist and my volunteer work, a normal digital archive has contributions that keep you busy for weeks on end, this I get 1 article a week if I am lucky. But its experience I can put on a resumé.