h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just outside Ecclefechan,just nine hundred and twenty two and a half miles outside Ecclefechan in fact,in France,lies the sleepy little town of
Effen,(the curative qualities of whose honey is renowned all over the civilised world-and in Glasgow!).
The very extraordinary bees which produce this honey are not unnaturally referred to as "Effen bees" in and around the town whose quaint architecture is marred by the factory in its
centre,where half the population are employed in the manufacture of Gendarmes truncheons or,as the French choose to call them,policemans batons.
He kept bees in the old town of Effen
An Effen beekeeper was he
And one day this Effen beekeeper
Was stung by a big Effen bee!
Now this big Effen beekeeper's wee Effen wife
For the big Effen polis she ran
For there's nobody can sort out a big Effen bee
Like a big Effen polisman can!
This big Effen polisman he did his nut
And he ran down the main Effen street
In his hand was a big Effen
baton
He had big Effen boots on his feet!
The polis got hold of this big Effen bee
And he twisted the Effen bees wings
But this big Effen bee got his own back
For this big Effen bee had two stings!
Now they're both in the Effen museum
Where the Effen folk often come see
The remains of the big Effen polis
Stung to death by the big Effen bee!
That's the end of that wee Effen story
"Tis an innocent wee Effen tale
But if you ever tell il it in Effen
You'll end up in the old Effen jail!

Apologies if this is difficult to read.The poem starts after the policemans batonsand I know it's back to front-the sentence(gendarmes truncheons/policemans batons)that was my sad attempt at adding a little zany humour!

Sorry, only just read it - but you're right, it took me a while, and I doubt that I understand what you're trying to say
ut it's a nice poem

More apologies I'm afraid, a Glaswegian might understand and certainly other scots would, but you wont B'El, thats something I should have considered when posting

Never mind Arty, sometimes, I'm so thick, I could be a Scot AND from Glasgow and still wouldn't get it