h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 Well, V99 at Chelmsford was a rip-roaring success (except of course for the raw sewage in bushes element that came to light yesterday).
I enjoyed a personal best this year for, not only did I blag the press tickets in the first place, but I also got to get disgustingly drunk, baffle and confuse my way deep into the heart of the MTV crowd by simply claiming to be a staggering variety of people, working for a staggering variety of people, I paid some children to attack the ex-Blue Peter snow champion and Big Breakfast presenter Richard Bacon with water pistols (the man ran screaming like a frightened girl), and I managed to smuggle a couple of other people into the Kula Shaker photocall… briefly.
And that was merely during the first day. During the first evening I went even further and caused considerable chaos within the press camp. But, as they say, that’ll have to wait until another time. I now have to compile some reviews for a few people to justify my tickets to the PR people and work off some of my expenses. There’s always a downside to these things.