h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So I was in Seminary the other day, and it struck me as a little more irritating than usual. It was just a stupid lesson. Typical Christian rhetoric really. I guess I’m just less and less able to put up with it, for one reason or another. It’s always so stupid. “After my Object Lesson today you will know da da da da da, and you will be able to do da da da da da.” Nevermind that it’s badly presented. Nevermind if it isn’t taught to you properly and you aren’t actually paying attention you won’t learn anything at all anyway. Nooooo; you will know it.

“The Earth was made in six days and finished on the seventh.”
“The world is flat.”
And one that’s really gotten on my nerves: “These geological formations were caused by a giant flood that covered the Planet at this time on this date. Of course, it’s not important that such a flood could never happen. It’s not important that the geological formations you’re talking about simply can’t be made by sticking rocks underwater for a month. It’s not important that by saving two members of every animal-and I’m going to go on a limb here and just assume that they’re opposing genders-on an impossibly huge Ark would not provide sufficient genetic diversity and they would all die out from inbreeding. It’s not at all important that the same is true for Adam and Eve, who only had two sons, and one killed the other and was thus Smited. It’s not important that Noah couldn’t possibly have gotten the animals on the American Continents, who therefore should have been drowned in the “universal” flood. We can completely ignore every inconsistency and outright lie the Bible holds because some deranged madman brought us up from birth to know beyond any question whatsoever that it’s a True and Holy Book of the Lord.”
It drives me nuts! Think people! Think! How can any reasonably educated person buy this crap? Good question, because it seems that they do. Let me just use one quote here: “What do Gods need with worshippers?” If he’s an omnipotent, omniscient being, he certainly can survive without you’re walking into a church and crossing yourself every seven days.

christians are ok, just the extremists who take it seriously are the ones to watch out for, just like in any religion. You will find that most "Christians" are actually agnostics who go to church for the social capital it gives them.

http://www.deadlounge.com/offramp/quotes_religion.html

Well I don't deny or abandon science, it explains pretty much everything in my book. However I still believe in a goddess, who is in effect the science that is happening, if you catch my meaning? no? Well blah.

Um..............No, not really....Would you care to elaborate on that?

And you're probably right about the Social Capital. But not where I live.

Hmm.....Really like that site....

I don't care to be honest. I'll live my life impulsively and lazily and if God doesn't like it I'll go to hell.

Um. Ok, the universe is the goddess, the goddess is the universe and everything in it, and thus I believe in the universe, it doesn't help it exist, but it certainly helps me exist.

I see......*Wonders why the Universe is then referred to as a Goddess.*

Right on Job. I'll save a seat for you.

Wouldnt it just be easier to refer to the universe as a universe?

No

Fair enough. It's not like I'm trying to change your beliefs or anything but just for the understanding point of view.

Same here.

Yeah I know. It cool.

I have a feeling this conversation isnt going to get much furthur...

Possibly not.....That is unless someone changes the subject.

Jehovas witnesses are irritating.

Never met one. What are they like?

*see above*

Walked right into that one.

What do they do? How do they act? What's their doctrine?

I like learning about other religions for some reason, despite that I almost always wind up thinking they're ridiculous nonsense, especially the Christian ones, simply because of the Heaven and Hell stuff.

Basically the same as any other christians but they ahve the extra incentive to come and knock on your door to convert you.