h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Increase blind people's electricity bills by switching all their lights on when their guide dog isn't looking.

Have you been reading Viz Top Tips?

Don't waste money on expensive surge protectors. Simply place a heavy book or small coffee table on each one of your power cables then those nasty mains spikes won't be able get through to damage your precious appliances.

That was my own but here's my favourite Viz original:

Always keep a can of red paint in your car. Then, next time you see a road accident, you can pour the paint over your head and pretend to be involved.

I'm back! I'm back!

And for 15 mins only...

A flying visit! Hellooooooooo!

*pop*

perfect timing!! And I haven't been in myself for days! How's it going? Any life affirming experiences recently? My share of the vote seems to have collapsed somewhat. Ne'er mind eh!

That's simply twisted!
I worked as a volunteer at a radio station for the blind where we read newspapers over the air. The lights were always burned out in the recording booths and I was one of the few who seemed to mind!