h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh what fun it is to be me. 'Tis a Friday, and yea verily, I'll be out of this house soon, thank God. This cabin fever is starting to make me go funny in the head. Millennium hand and shrimp! Apocalypse pretty soon! Neeeeee! God knows what'll happen next; cannibalism and other disturbing pagan practices loom like nasty fluffy stormclouds on the distant horizon...

I realized today that I should probably update my webpage soon. Naaaaah. That requires effort. And motivation. Two things I do not currently possess.

I have decided that I hate summer. In Oregon at least. When I don't have a job. All I can do is irradiate my face in front my computer monitor, or stare out the window at the dark and dreary horizon...gazing over a chiaroscuro of housing developments and Beavertonites. All because I can't drive.

"But Eveline! Couldn't you get a job? And take the bus to get to work?"

Yeeeeeeaaah, shaddup, you. *squashes the angel on her shoulder* I could, technically, but I only have one more month of free time, and later in August I'll be visiting colleges. Big whoop.

Sigh. I suppose I should go practice the piano. Or do my health homework. Health homework...*shudder* is possibly the worst punishment you could give ANYONE. You want to drive your enemies loony? Insane? Stark raving mad? You want to smite these enemies in the most horrible of ways? Sure you do! Drop a load of health-by-correspondence homework assignements on their heads. Currently, I have to make an "information sheet" of contraception methods. I get to wite about condoms! The pill! The diaphragm! OH GOD! Will the fun never stop?!!!?!!!

Hey, here's an idea...

If you don't want to get pregnant...DON'T HAVE SEX!

Sounds like a surefire method to me. Unless you happen to be lucky enough to have an Immaculate Conception.

I've got more to write, but I am afraid that I must bid you all adieu.

*bows and disappears in a puff of smoke*

*cough*