h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been reading the debate going on here and I've noticed that the opinions expressed have been the British, the Australians and the Americans for the most part. I figure it's time for a Canadian to step up to the plate now. I've made numerous trips to the U.S. and I always find myself looking for a good beer sooner or later and for the most part there is none to speak of. I spent a night in chicago with my girlfriend who is American. We sat down in a pub with some friends of ours, who also were Americans. I tried a new beer every round, and I could barely choke down any of them. Then at my girlfriend's suggestion, I tried Tacate which is a Mexiccan beer. And let me tell you it kicked the hell out of all the piss I'd been drinking all evening. I tasted pretty good. I am fortunate to be able to find Honey Brown at a few places in my travels South of the border. Anything to avoid drinking American beer. Hell I was in a bar one night down there and they were serving pitchers for $1, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, untill I remembered that I was in the U.S.
I bought one, and my girlfriend and I damn near threw up just in trying to get this garbage down our thorats. We hardly made a dent in the pitcher. I can't even get a decent Canadian beer in the U.S. either. I can get Molson Export everywhere I go in the States but my opinion is that we export it to the Yanks cause it's probably the worst beer that we make. I don't drink it back home so I sure won't drink it in the States. Personally I like going to pubs around here and drinking good beer from overseas. I found one that I can only get in this one bar in Toronto that I've found called 80 Shilling. let me tell you it's great. But damn, at $6.50 a pint it's a rare treat for me.

I'm just sitting here drinking my can of Bud... I mean, American beer.

Samuel Adams makes good beer, both the Boston Lager and Boston Ale taste like beer should. I suppose Samuel and Douglas isn't related, but who knows?

Okay, first I have to set all of you Canadians straight. We in the US have plenty of good beers. How can you judge the brewing output of a whole country based on a few bad experiences in what I'm guessing were sportsbar type places? That's like going to McDonald's and then complaining that the US has no decent restaurants! The next time you're in the states, get yourself directed to a microbrewery. They're popping up all over, and most of them are really good. No, you probably won't find anything like Honey Brown, but that's because most craft brewers have enough integrity to make delicious brews that don't require honey to mask their rank taste.

As for Sam Adams, I have to say, despite my Bostonian heritage, I really don't think it's so great. The lager has grown on me in recent months, but I have been quite dissapointed with all of the ales I've tried. They're all just so one dimensional compared to really good microbrewed ales. I'm sure part of this is due to the fact that they brew the stuff in much larger quantities than the smaller breweries. My advice for happy drinking is to find the smallest, most local, stuff you can.

If you want more info on beer in the USA, check out my just submitted, and therefore as yet unapproved guide entry.

On the topic of american beer, here is the Monty Python quote: "American beer is like making love in a canoe - f*****g close to water"

As I always say, you can't go wrong with Sam Adams. It is undoubtedly the Best Beer in America (even though they can't say that anymore due to some lawsuit....) They've got a vast selection of styles, all of which are excellent, a billion times better than the piss most Americans drink. And it's readily available almost anywhere, unlike microbrews. I do wish I could get my hands on more microbrews, but I live out in the middle of frickin nowhere. Thus by default, I'm usually drinking Sam Adams.

If you're ever in Durango, Colorado, head downtown and grab yourself a pint of something called Pinstripe. You'll never want to look at Sam Adams again.