h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

beer is good for your head


Beer is good for your head, from my tests anyway, which are wrong. Beer is bad for you, so thats why i started heavy drinking at the age of 10. Oh yeh i even have a forwarding address with www.beer.com [email protected]

No doubt that beer is good for your head :

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That' s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

You know how people say "If you want to avoid a hangover after a bellyfull, drink a pint of water before bed"? Well beer is over 99% water, so why not simply have an extra pint - maybe leave a drop in the bottom.

Beer might be 99% water where you come from but here in the Netherlands proper beer starts at 5% alcohol and goes up.

If you grew new brain cells over time ( like a herd has babies) this would be true. Unfortunately, Human brains don't grow at all after about age 4. so if you are going to drink, drink before age four to get the effect right.

Judge Pag, the Learned, Impartial, and Very Relaxed.

In New Zealand, maybe because we live down under, the beer goes down when we drink it. Though occasionaly it does come up again.

Loonytunes, anyone who read your message is gonna be put off beer
for good! So please, make me forget it! Pleeeeaaassse!

Hypnotises Davion ....watch the watch oscillating ....you will forget previous statement on beer ...you will forget ...you will forget ....you will take off your clothes

Oh groan.

Snaps finger. Davion what are you doing still in bed?

I'm hiding.

Walks out shuts door. Will be back in 30 minutes.

Good. That leaves plenty of time for me to scarper.

Repairs door using 42 nails.

Aw!
Ouch, I pricked my finger on one of the nails.

Davion, green blood, what can this mean?

You've been reading "Stay Out Of The Basement", that's what.

Have you got beer in the basement? Or maybe bengal tigers?

How about a pack of wolves and a meat necklace for you?

Cuts the pack. Draws Ace of Spades. Wolves join Loonys gang.