h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm mystified as to whom to vote for in the 2004 US Presidential election. Here's how I see it:

Bush:
pros:
-stands by his decisions
-likes tax cuts
uhhh . . . that's all I can think of

cons:
-makes bad decisions (so it's no good that he sticks by them, really)
-favors the wealthy
-starts up wars without telling us why
-lies
-can't speak English (or Spanish) without seeming like an idiot
-is an idiot
-is a divider, not a uniter, contrary to 2000 campaign claim
-is not a "compassionate conservative," contrary to 2000 campaign claim
-9/11 happened on his watch
-the economy crashed during his watch
(and the list goes on)

Kerry:
pros:
-isn't Bush
-good policy on stem cell research
-favors diplomacy over war

cons:
-is a dull, long-winded politician who evades questions, waffles on issues, changes personality to suit poll results, and drags his Nam veteran status through the muck of political campaigning.
-has the most liberal voting record of any elected representative. Including Ted Kennedy.
-has the irritating habit of denying (as Bush does) that he could ever be wrong; rather, lies about past decisions.
-did I mention he changes his mind rather often? In my defense, I was annoyed by this even before negative campaigning started.
-he's been a senator for how long? And I've never heard of him? Could this be because he's as charismatic as a block of wood, making Al Gore look like Teddy Roosevelt by comparison? Or because he's not responsible for any important legislation? Y'know, some of our worst presidents were the ones who didn't do anything bad, like Bush did, but just let the country fall apart. I'm thinking Millard Fillmore, James Buchanan, etc. Kerry looks like one o' those.
(the list goes on here as well . . .)
-he's classic "Washington insider." I don't like Washington insiders.

Nader: Look, I'm not going to vote for Nader.

So, on the whole, I have every reason to vote against Bush. I can't stand Kerry - his personality and his politics annoy me to the extreme - but I'm fed up with Bush. Really fed up. He's never been a good representative of the U.S. (he's hardly our best & brightest), and now he's an international disgrace because of his poor job dealing with 9/11, Afghanistan, and Iraq. Plus he's no good dealing with the economy, either.

But I don't want to vote for Kerry, either. I can't exactly spell out why; I just can't stand him. So what am I to do? Write in a vote for John McCain? Find an acceptable 3rd-party candidate? I'm disheartened by this whole process. The worst thing is that I know I have to vote. I mean, voter apathy in America is appalling; I can't be a part of that. But I don't want to be a supporter of the Bush administration or the Kerry campain, either, and I don't want to "throw my vote away." Yarrrrrrrrrgh. I'll figure it out come November.