h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cornwall is the lesser known 5th country in Great Britain (after wales scotland ireland and england)at one end of it are the scilly isles which as their name implies are islands, but they're not silly, oh no. Then working northwards you get to Lands End, which is pretty subjective really as if you think about it could just as well be Lands Start. Next comes a lot of fishing, Newlyn, Mousehole (pronounced mousall)and Penzance. Then you find yourself in Truro, the capital of Cornwall which has a great big cathedral and shops n stuff. Hmmm what else oh yes, near Truro, but thankfully not too near, are Redruth and Cambourne with Pool stuck between them. These three delightful hell-holes are used as part of commando training to toughen up recruits. If they survive there for more than around thirty....minutes then they'll survive anywhere.There is a high mortality rate in this training scheme.
Falmouth comes next, where I got to college, then there's St.Austell where the Eden project has turned a huge whole in the grond into a huge whole in the graound with a rainforest in and a glass roof.
Then you gaet Wadebridge and Padstow. Padstow is a confusing place populated soley by three families and the only town in Great Britain where fathers day causes riots. Not that I'm saying they're inbred but they are.

Hmm that's probably insulted a good half of cornwall population so that'll do for today.