h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Lochsong's life may not be that rosey.
A quick loveless rustle in the hay once a year with an inbred, drug fueled, speed freak.
regular, non-drug assisted births.
thankless offspring who leave you aged 1.
I could go on, but I guess you know what I mean...

Most of the time nowadays they do it by AI anyway so you only get the Stallion man's hand rather then anything more interesting!

so how do they get the...no, I'm not sure I want to know

Actually I was on riding and horsemanship course in June at a big agricultural college in Warwickshire and they breed TBs and sports horses there and we got to watch them collecting it and then inseminating the mares. V V interesting!

hey..early bird..thought you'd be riding out this time of the morning

you watched them collecting it?! I can only think of one way to do
this and It cant have been very pretty..but tell me some day, when I'm
less likely to get reaquaineted with my breakfast

It was actually less icky then it sounds - but not exactly like giving the stallion a sample bottle and sending him into a stable with copies of the breeding editions of Horse and Hound and Your Horse!

meetings now (not race meetings unfortunately)...I'll see what you've put up for me to reply to later

Are you sure you want to hear this?

(meeting cancelled)

Of course..my crunchy nut cornflakes are well settled

I can't belive what I'm reading!!!

But I'm kinda strangely interested at the same time!

You must have learnt a wonderfull hand motion!!

a bit of friday morning tone lowering..just what's needed.
hey, maybe your 'the front running grey'?

Dickensian Liar, meet my friend Sidney Kidney - one of the nicest people you will meet on this site!

well basically they tease the stallion with a mare by letting him see her and get closer to her over about 40 minutes. Mean while the Stallionman is getting what looks like a big tube (filled with warm water) and he places inside it a massive latex sheath which has a filter at one end. When the stallion mounts the mare this is put over him and basically he ejaculates into that - the filter takes out all the hairs and dirt and leaves you with what you need. Want me to continue?

yuck!! (hi sidney)
is the mare random? or especially sexy?
Does the stallion not notice?

what is there to go on about?

I meant..what is there to 'continue' about

well the mare has to be in season - she is probably going to be used for another covering later in the day. The semen is spun to seperate the ejaculate from the sperm and then they take the sperm and inseminate the mare. Or freeze / chill it for use later. It is safer then doing it naturally - so you are right there isn't much in it for the poor old girl!

Oh and now apparently the stallion at this stud hates the real thing and prefers to use the collection device!

A metaphor for cyber existence...
maybe a crap one

Too true, all too true

I meant a crap metaphor, not a crap existence..or maybe
I was being accidentally 'deep'

deep is good. But there is a lot to be said for a cyber existence!