h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know that this submission is not my own work, and that credit shoud be given where credit is due. However I do not know the source of this and therefore cannot say.
It is, however, intelligent and witty and therefore, I think, deserves to be placed on such a fine site as this.

 
How Hot Is It In Hell?
(A True Story from a Yale professor)

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave.

therefore no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since most people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people
and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Second, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

#1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Miss Theresa
Banyan during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold night in Hell
before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is
exothermic.

The student got the only A.