h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Sexual Education in Primary Schools, taking Austria as an Example - A51954979
Author: eve1987 - U13869400

Hi everyone!

Here is my article. It would be very nice if you told me what you think about it.

Hello Eve, I see you are another newcomer, so Welcome!

Are you also one of the recent group of english students seeking helpful advice?


These two sentences makes me think you have written the article in your first language and then translated it (I have just taken a small part at random - as an example)

>>Once the children learn how to speak and once they get in contact with other children, they always can come and ask embarrassing questions about how to make babies and the differences between the sexes. In many cases also parents are embarrasses and do not want to talk about sexuality. Not to talk about sex when your children want to know it, is one of the worst things parents can do.

If I were you I would rethink how you are putting each sentence together and simplify them, as your meaning is confused at the moment.

An extremely important thing to note is that you are using 'Sexual' and 'sexuality' wrongly. Check in your dictionary

Your article should be entitled *Sex* Education ...etc


In addition, read the Guidelines again, for submitting entries here and for how the article should be laid out.

Here is an Edited Guide Entry, which will show you what you are aiming for and will provide at least one link for your finished entry.

A5176

Finally good luck, and I am sure this will be a useful addition once you make the necessary changes

Hello Eve. The little writing group that you and your friends have formed is certainly submitting some interesting entries to Peer Review

You have bravely chosen a quite difficult subject area and dealt with it reasonably well. I'm not going to criticise either the content or your use of English - I recognise that none of you are native English-speakers, so allowance must be made for that.

Could I make two simple suggestions:

1. the title can simply be

2. you should focus solely on the situtation in Austria and not try to draw any inference by comparing it with that in the UK. By all means mention the high teenage pregnancy rate in the UK compared with Austria, but to try to attribute it to better sex education is a matter of opinion (it may or may not be true) and in h2g2 we have to stick to relating facts

with this entry. It is very worthwhile

Eve, are you still around, and are you willing to work on this?

As I told modemraider: If you need help with writing this in English, we have several native German speakers here to help you make it clearer - but before we put all that effort into it, we'd have to know you're still dedicated to working on this entry

And another - onto the list it goes, I'm afraid. I'll recommend Flea Market, though it's unlikely that an Austrian will pick it up...