h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

how is gettin a woody allen book being a nerd. i fail to see the connection.

your sittin there goin give me sympathy, you know, oh im so tired, i hate unix etc. etc. and i have to sit here goin there there darlin, honey bunch etc. etc. God be with the days where i could abuse you on h2g2 with no ramifications to worry me little head about, just say cry me a river or some such. or get up d'yard bleedin students.

Cry me a river ye dirty spunker. I don't think you have ever ever ever ever said the likes of "there there darlin, honey bunch etc." I think I'd be quite scared if you did. Inanyway I am now the queen of unix and such cos my program works and I rule and I'm the king of the castle and you're a dirty rascal and I don't need your sympathy I think I deserve some worshiping and adoration and the like. Bow down before me mere mortal.

you know what you can do? get up there on your dick van dyke.
i successfully negotiated 2 phone calls this aftenoon, joined a library, considered a haircut and a shoppin expedition and you dont hear me crowin from the rooftops. self praise is no praise. its worth remembering that susan.

I'm scared. Triona just told me I have a week left in college. A week. As in seven days to complete and in some cases start four disgusting projects. I'm screwed. And yet I'm still here talking to you rather than doing them. dooby dooby dooby do. do dooby dooby doooby do. do dooby dooby dooby dooby do. do dooby dooby do. I appear to have lost the fear. I need it back.

ok so ill leave you alone. ill inspire you
catch a star,
if you can,
wish for somethin,






SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elton John stole my boyfriend.
Would it help if I got a toupee?

ah no, ah jaysis no, ah merciful hour no. sure then you wouldnt be riskin your life daily, ironin your hair, givin endless entertainment to your posse.
will i get my hair cut? its your decision

Ah sure why don't you get some lovely highlights Like that lovely lad Damien Duff.
Then I wouldn't feel so bad about Elton John stealing my boyfriend. Actually I'd probably invite him around for dinnear and introduce you.
Actually I'm not comfortable making such an important decision for you. Sure I could ruin your life entirely, which is not my intention at all at all. Really it's not. No way hose.

well then why did you seduce me that fatefull night?????

ME seduce YOU? Now if there was any seducing being done I was definetely the seducee. Dear Lord The Laurels has a lot to answer for. And that helen one of course (although I'm only saying that because you know she's snooping around here somewhere.)

suspicious by her absence. definitely. i had the GAFF(gaff ha ha(?)))))))) to meself last night for ages. watched telly, listened to elton. the ivory tower that was multi channell land is a big disappointment to me.
i forgat me bukes i got in the library so i got a charlie chaplin biography. more to him dat meets the eye. yes siree.

any news???????????wot we doin??????how long is a piece of string??????????why wont you knuckle down and do your bleedin projects???????why so many question marks???????

im goin on me break

I cannot answer these questions for you, little one. To find the answers you must look inside yourself.We cannot seek out others for the blah blah yadda yadda I'm actually boring myself.
So cmon it's Friday again what's the plan of action?

ill meet you at 5 in town, i think young michael donnelly is around about so we'll meet up for a pint. what do you think?

If I get the four o clock bus from rathcoole why don't you hop on when it gets to clondalkin and then nobody'll be waiting around in town. I know I know I'm a frickin genius. Who is this Michael Donnelly?

i didnt know you were at home, i thought you were in college!!you should be more clear in your communicatin. that throws a spanner in the works all together. plans are bein thrown out the window left right and centre. i dunno what to do now at all at all. all suggestions gratefully accepted.

I have invaded your private life and read your messages. I feel so powerful (suspicious by her absence indeed...)