h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can two heterosexual human beings of opposite genders interact in close or with frequent interaction without the introduction of the sexual element?

Yes.

Yes.

But one or other of them is probably thinking about it, at least briefly. Fact of biology. The fact we don't act on it is one of the things that sets us apart from the other animals.

Yes. Definately. I've had loads of platonic relationships.

A lady friend of mine used to say that she loved a platonic relationship - play for him and tonic for her

Well, I made a makeshift tetrahedron with a girl once, but only because we were hiding in a cupboard.

I've had plenty of decent platonic relationships with girls, many of whom seemed to see me as a means to divest themselves of the problems they had with the boys they actually wanted to tonk. No amount of support brought them over, though. It was always one or the other.

Yes, definitely. One of my closest friends is a woman.

All my close mates are male. Don't get on with women. I mean, they're okay to shag, but I have zero interest in normal female topics of conversation. Shoes - got 4 pairs, and that includes walking and climbing boots. Celebs, who? Clothes? They cover the bits.

I have male and female friends. With the guys the most frequent topic of conversation is cooking followed by music. With the women it's more likely to be stuff and woodworking followed by stuff and music.

Of course platonic relationships are possible, but it takes a degree of maturity on the part of both. It's difficult for teenagers with hormones flying all over the place to keep sex out of the equation.

The best remedy is to get married. That puts an end to the sex.

Yes, definitely, but it relies on neither having any serious feelings for the other. As soon as that comes into the equation then the relationship has to move up a level or it tends to collapse under the strain.

I disagree with that. I have serious feelings for several of my female friends. By that I don't mean sexual feelings. I just regard them as really good friends.

Similarly, I'd say it's perfectly possible to have serious, unreciprocated *sexual* feelings for someone yet maintain a friendship. As I say, on some level, at some point, *everyone* who has a friend of the same sex thinks of them in that light, even if only to dismiss the idea.

It's when friends' sexual attraction is reciprocated that it gets complex - can you do the wild thing and stay friends?

SoRB

I think they're what are colloquially known as "fluck buddies" .... or something like that.

Like most relationships, it will work fine as long as both parties are happy with the degree of intimacy. As soon as one seeks more (or less) than the other, one or both are going to start being dissatisfied.

Yes, of course it's possible. Not everything of the opposite gender has to be a sex object.

Thanks. Sometimes I wonder.

How when you say sexual element do you mean the act or thinking about the act or merely an underlying acknoeldgment that the act is possible.

More often than not the friendship is affected because if either person has a partner or even relative who knows questions will be asked and depending on the nature of the question and the attitude of the questioner the friends will have to take into account other peoples preconceptions and shape their friendship accordingly. I have lost a lot of friends because our friendship wasnt worth the hassel as I got stronger i lost girlfirends becasue tehy werent more important than my freedom to have friends. However I know people who dont mention their friends of the opposite sex to their partners or keep the mentions to a minimum.

Humans like a lot of other animals are preprogrammed to naturally think from the groins. Males more often then females but females occassionally more strongly than men are up for a bit of the other.

If you dont feel this in the slightest for your friedns of whichever gender you prfer if you have a preference then thereis something wrong with you.

I dont mean that in a prjorative way but theres something wrong with you in the same way that Im partially colourblind. The primary function of any animal is to make more animals.

One of the reasons I have not succumbed to carnal thouhts about some of my friends is that I have weighed up the situation and thought "no". Sometimes because it would mess up my current relationship or their relationship or because I valued their friendship more than I valued their body. Do things go astray sometimes yes often when I have started off not wanting to go to bed with a woman but sometimes base desires can override my best intentions. So far its about 50/50 out of the women I've formed close relationships with. Ive even slept with one good friend of long standing on two occassions and managed to just sleep with no other things coming up, as it were. While other times both parties agreed the situations were friendships or close working relathionships and ended up having to, in their words in *each and every single case* as they put it "Get this out of our systems" which I often want to point out is technically wrong because its "out of mine and into your system" but pedantry is a passion killer so I dont.

A platonic friendship is no different to any other. How do you know that your friends of the same sex arent secretly lusting after you? The quality of a friendship isnt measured by how the other person views you as a potential sexual partner but by the understanding and support you offer each other or have I got that wrong?

Yes.













If one or both is ugly.

or gay.

Ignore that. Missed the 'heterosexual' in post 1

I still think it's a question of maturity.