h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm another day another five new log-ins..is this a conspiracy telling me to stay away from the boards. I know J.R has experience of this type of thing. J.R. - MY NEW BEST MATE - how do I foil the evil bbc operatives.

Oh yeah, another thing. My computer has a new hard drive and keeps crashing....well, you said you wanted questions....I have got loads of them!

Hi there 238398. JR is good, but unfortunately even he lacks the telepathic powers required to sort out your problems. If you would explain in more detail what goes wrong in what circumstances, he and I will do our best to come up with useful suggestions.

Hey. How about clicking on 'Preferences' and changing that name?

toxxin.

Under the terms of the Geneva Convention, I think that's all he's obliged to tell you, Doc.

Unless you want to set up a "camp x-ray style" reception committee.

Thanks for replying, Doc.

Now depending on which login worked - or didn't- I should be called either Max Stuart or Kowalski the SeaView. You get a prize for guessing the t.v. prog featuring Kowalski.

Valentine has told me that this is a common way of getting rid of awkward posters who complain about the BBC - she was going to tell me more when but her P.C. can only last 5 mins in this heat - buy a new P.C., val!

Now i was known as Greg Young but because of various login probs i ended up as Gregori K, Gregor, Grigiri, Gregori..finally Grigorii. Why 2 i's - I want to have my own name but the BBC will not allow me to have one. Therefore they have 'stolen' my name and will not give it back. Therefore I intend to sue the BBC for 'stealing my person' and will consult my solicitor and see them in court.

And yes, Doc..add me to the pist of complainants..these boards are a comple farce..phew!!

Regards, Greg

Hi, Greg. I think you will find that Icy North keeps the pist (sic) of complainants.

Unless you are alluding to my drinking habits. I'll add you to the fans of QQN anyway and maybe that will do. Oops, I've forgotten your full QQ name, and you don't wanna hang on to that researcher handle do you? Ah well.

Try JR's trick of adding spaces before and/or after the name you want. He has about a dozen names that all look identical on the screen!

Cheers, Doc.

I don't keep a list as such, but I do invite complaints and any other comments on the BBC messageboards at U235913. Please come and visit.

The boards are definitely on the mend this week. Some boards are out of pre-mod (not R4 yet unfortunately), and the service is looking a lot better. I'll be on holiday from Thursday, so it would be nice to see things back to normal by then.

Cheers, Icy

Hello Greg, firstly do bear in mind that the bbci boards have not been very well over the last couple of weeks. I am still not entirely sure of the precise nature of your problem, but here goes anyway. When you register a screenname, you need a login and password to go with that name, I tend to use the same 6 character word for both, but obviously a different word for each screenname. Always write down your login and password for each screenname. Once registered, you can post, but only in premod until you have successfully returned the beeb's email. All my names print the same, but as doc says, some include spaces: I use whichever one is not currently in premod (right now, everybody is in premod, to control the load on the system while it is unwell, but normally they use premod as a punishment for people like me).
If you have a functional cookie, you won't need to login, but if it logs you in with the wrong name, just logout, delete your cookie, login again and you will have a brand new cookie.
If you login to h2g2 using a login/password you have used on bbci, you will be logged in there too. To see who you currently are, goto http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?x=y&board=mc&state=profile

CtrlA will reveal any hidden spaces, and you can change your details from this screen (when it works, looks ok today).

I have had a lot of practice mod-dodging on bbci, I always get back on. If you are still having trouble, call again anytime. BTW, I did answer you within half an hour yesterday, but on the other thread you posted on.

Ta J.R.! I believe I have got a screen-name for the moment unfortunately it isn't mine -Gregori K. - but the 1st name that entered my frazzled brain, and believe me I am as frazzled as it gets!

Now where am I up to, yeah.. I used a pal of mine's name, ahem he doesn't know yet, so if he gets onto the site he is in for a shock, so sorry Max Stuart. Ahem..but I am now logged in here on hootoo as August Darnell..no, don't ask why but it was better than Kowalski the Sea View.

Ask the Doc whether he has got the necessary medication before I lose it altogether. (retreats to a darkened room)..and thanks again, JR.

And if you write something on your h2g2 personal page, we can leave messages for you there. Use the 'edit page' button, upper right.

Thanks for the info, Doc. 'Pist' as in 'pist off', twas a Freudian slip. But of course you already knew that

Isn't August Darnell the lead singer with Kid Creole and the Coconuts?

...i'm not your Daddy...

Bugger, I was just going to say that Suzi! (hey, grow us armpits and we could be his co-co nuts)

hmm..not that I am aware of Suzi. You must be sadly mistaken, there is only one August Darnell and it is I.

Also I have never sung with the 'Coconuts' as you call them, not that I recall anyway. I do sing on the way home from the Bridgewater Inn and my rendition of 'Underneath the Arches' is renowned. Not many people can sing whilst laying in a gutter.

Hang on..I have just googled it and the singer with the Cocunuts is in fact..wait for it..none other than 'Kid Creole' and not A.D. so lets hear no more about it dear Suzi.

Oh and I do know who I am, I think. And I have found a space but don't quite know as yet what to do with it. I don't like to complain but coud you inform 'Icy North' that it is nowhere near big enough for the comforts normally required by August Darnell.

Thank You and Kind Regards, Master A. Darnell, esq.

Stool Pigeon (a-cha-cha-cha)

ooooooooooooh, ANNIE (dah dah dah da) IIIIIIIIIII'm not you're DADDY.........(dah dah dah da) Momma's baby daddy's maybe.

Now stop it. The only pigeons we use up't'north are for racing. Must go and take whippets for a walk and then feed ferrets. Wheres me cloth cap.

I quite like h2g2 now I have got used to it. As we say up here -I'm Mad for it!

ta-ra Chuck.

Miss Scouse, August Darnell wishes to inform you that he is THE original August Darnell.

b. in Worsley Village in 1623 he qualified as a Master of Astrology before gaining Qualifications in Alchemy whereupon he discovered the Elixir of Life and became Grigori Rasputin. Despite many fruitless attempts at assassination he managed to escape drowning and walked across the steppes for many years whereupon he decided to reside at his village of birth.

It may have escaped your notice but 'coconuts' had not been invented in 1623, indeed neither had the USA been yet discovered therefore this Kid Creole is in imposter. So stop singing - what do you think this is bloody 'Pop-Star the Rivals'!! (ahem..can I be Simon Cowell?)

Did somebody mention complaints?

I'm not going to run an h2g2 complaints page, but the folks who run h2g2 seem friendly, and you should ask them if you need anything. Click on the Help button and choose one of the outlets there.

If you want more space, then I guess you would have to divide up your home space into different articles and link to them (but I haven't attempted this yet).

Cheers, Icy

What complaints?

No Icy you haven't quite understood. I want to dismantle my residence and rebuild it on this site. Worsley Old Hall has the necessary requirements with an ample Library room with leather fittings. I have acquired the builders and just need your permission to start the foundations. Thank You.

'parrently Kid Creole lives in Urmston.