h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i feel ambivalent about this one... i reckon every man/woman relationship has a touch of erecton about it... that is why i find only with gay men do i have true 'friendships'.... i am also totally biased and generally just prefer the company of men... i would say that i usually dont have more than one / max two woman friends...

i would be interested to know why you think in 'limit-terms.... although i could probaby have a reasonable guess....

Does it depend upon what you are trying to achieve?......the optimum number of friends of the opposite sex?. And what if we wish to consider the optimum number of friends of all sexes.

What do you mean by faithful?

You may well be right, d. Perhaps capability = competence + opportunity, in which case I magically reword the original post to 'competence without opportunity', or vice versa. Desire probably needs to figure in there somewhere too...

In hopes of boosting your reply tally on this one, Ali - why is it called the 'opposite' sex, rather than the other, the alternative, or the complementary sex?

In hopes of boosting your reply tally on this one, Ali - why is it called the 'opposite' sex, rather than the other, the alternative, or the complementary sex?

Is it because opposites attract? Do they? If you were to meet someone, exactly like yourself, would you get on well? [No pun intended]

Was there a pun there? Maybe I should have added the pronoun, it.

Must clear my head with some caffeine! ....which I think may be an earlier, successfully launched, mind over matter exercise.

I agree, better to tried and failed rather than to have never tried at all. Furthermore, better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all.
If you're lucky, you might even end up with half a loaf!

Hello ,
Lloyd George said ‘you can never be friends with a woman unless you’ve slept with her’ (and then went out to get some friends).
I don’t know that I really agree with him, that this will always result, but I think a degree of erecton, as you call it (sounds like something the little green men from Mars must always have in their front pockets, no wonder they’re successful! ) can be a good thing because it creates a nice tension and attraction which can actually encourage more opening-out between the man and woman. It’s up to you if you control it.

I’ve had close gay friends and they’ve been great, but at the same time in just a few matters there was a feeling that something was missing because they seemed at 90 degrees (a feeling I think they also had about me) rather than at either 0 or 180 degrees. Same-sex close friends aren’t always the answer because of rivalry, but I think opposite sex friends can work so long as the relationship doesn’t become so close to be like a power struggle, as often happens between more intimate partners.

On a purely platonic friendship level it may not be possible to reach the state Michener mentions in his novel 'Alaska', but I think even heading partly that way can be really satisfying and rewarding to both parties -
” … if a man happens to find himself, if he knows ... the degree to which he can surrender his inner life to some woman, ... then he has found a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life.”

+

And when you discover the secrets of "the pleasures of the flesh", How to turn it on [who would want to turn it off], then you are indeed blessed and have found a mansion. Here you can stay, using it as a base, as you visit castles, museums, churches and cathedrals. And that is as far as I can see, because it takes you to the stars .... and beyond.

And so many people just settle for Sex. Give me a friend who KNOWS me and we will fly.

Can't fault Lloyd George on that one, 3pickledwalnuts

Sounds nice that..."pleasures of the flesh". Shame that it is used to discourage the search for the human climax and what it all means. Shows us all how weak willed Man can be...SELF DENIAL in extremis

Hi, Man from Mars,
In case you thought I was, I wasn’t thinking of you, jiggling your lucky stones in your front pocket, like darts players do while their opponent’s on, before throwing their 'arrows' in search of joy and fortune, when I wrote of little green men from Mars - though perhaps I could have been.

From what I’ve heard of him, LG may have only used that phrase to justify his chauvinistic philandering, not that that means he didn’t give the women involved more (friendship) than they might have otherwise got out of life in that era - he apparently had charm and liked the opposite sex - not necessarily a 'matter of course' amongst heteros, whether m or f.

Why should it be ‘the secrets of’? We don't have 'the secrets of eating , which is just as much a, if different, pleasure.

As you probably know, Tito & Tarantula sing “Summer's here calling me, how I love to feel the heat”. That goes not just for the literal temperature of these last few weeks, but for life, yeh/n'est-ce pas/gel?

3pickledwalnuts,

Good morning, And I take no offence at your posts They contain little gems of wisdom. I will have to get bigger pockets or better still more pockets. Can't have the lucky stones scratching the gems.

"he apparently had charm and liked the opposite sex - not necessarily a 'matter of course' amongst heteros, whether m or f." which is a crying shame, 3pw, because what you give is what you get and it is nice to be "charmed" by the opposite sex, the ones we are attracted to.

Secrets cannot be good and it is an interesting exercise thinking about who benefits from them and why they think there Is a benefit.

Today I will take a little sun, my bronzed god phase, and listen for the line, “Summer's here calling me, how I love to feel the heat".
Life is a bitch and she is calling me. Lekker, n'est-ce pas

Hi, Beenz.

Most of it is over my head, so I can't reply without looking dumb.

'Complementary' - Do you remember the story of the Confederate general who visited a fort and asked a female administrator "What's the usual complement of this station ?" She replied "Ah reckon it's 'Howya, Honey, yuh's sure luscious-lookin this mornin'."


I don't know why 'opposite'. Perhaps it means 'gegenüber' rather than 'gegenteil', i.e. over there rather than diametrically opposed.

It's just what we say. When there are only two options, they are mutually opposite, aren't they ?

Alternative sex sounds to me like things that self-respecting persons wouldn't want to do ...

Hi, Man from Mars. What am I trying to achieve ? - Don't know.

Friendships of other kinds aren't a problem of the same kind, because jealousies don't arise, or not nearly so much. Perhaps this is because there is less dependency in other relationships.

You ask: "What do you mean by faithful?"

Actually I was only quoting, but the questioner was asking whether he should have an affair with a woman to whom he was attracted, in illicit violationof his marital vows.

AliQuest, Hi,

"Friendships of other kinds aren't a problem of the same kind, because jealousies don't arise, or not nearly so much. Perhaps this is because there is less dependency in other relationships" ......and if metrosexuality is an attempt at an accomodation in the sexes, then its evolving/evolved improved clone? is to be welcomed. So new, in fact, that it does not even have a name.

And what a dilemma.....to have an affair with a woman to whom you are attracted, in illict violation of your marital vows. On an advanced cerebral plane, this desire at "apparent" random interaction is a natural desire to introduce order into chaos. At this higher level where Love is sought and given, on both/all sides, a "good" sexually active man/woman may feel the need to seek out "damaged" transient partners, not for Sex per se but for the pleasure that the giving of their Love can bring. Emotional attachment may result, as this sympathetic response between the "good" and the "damaged", leads to a "better", at least, and can lead to a "best". If we can accept that "good" brings physical and spiritual union, something metaphysical, tantric, then you can realise the addictive nature of an attraction offering "better" and "best". It is a simple personal choice question to be decided between partners as to whether this is an acceptable and accepted behaviour. One must be able to accept "reciprocality."

Perhaps there is an aberration in the presumption of "in illicit violation of his marital vows."........considering enlightening views being explored by religions, today.

Hi, Draculina. Why did I ask ? Somebody was asking for questions, and I delved into my memories and came up with this one. It doesn't have any immediate application to me.

The basic thing is that (if I understand right) nearly everybody has a maximum of one friend of the opposite sex - prospective or actual partners. Yet some people have several, without being really different in their long-term objectives. Can both strategies be right ?

Surely, you would have to go for A. You had the opportunity and you went for it. You might learn the capability from the opportunity. However good you were you would be wrecked if there was was no opportunity to broadcast your capabilities.

Pah! and Tosh! - "over my head" indeed. I know better, you old rascal...

FWIW 'opposite' is probably most appropriate given the metaphors that suround interaction of the sexes (battle of the sexes, the 'trouble and strife') and without that sense of antagonism where would half the stand-up comedians look for material??

'Alternative sex' - I know a joke about that concerning an admiral's daughter that married a sailor, and was advised by her father to resist her new husband's entreaties to try it 'the other way'. Being a spirited girl, her curiosity got the better of her, and she was the one that suggested trying 'the other way' only to be met with a look of horror from her husband. "What! and risk having a baby!!"

I'll get me bell-bottoms...

I am going to retire to the sidelines now and await developments. Alternative sex can do that for you.

Hellohhhhhhhhhhh, Sailor. Want a walk on the wild side?

Ugh !

Well, either those posts were incomprehensible drivel or over my head; why should I be ungenerous ?