h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I walked out of the psych after two minutes!
Previously I had said that I didnt want to see her again, she said to make another appointment for when she got the report from the psychologist and that she would see about getting me a different psychiatrist at the same time. Did she? noooo!!! she says I have to put it in writing that I dont want to see her and when I got angry and said she never told me that she said she was telling me now and that she had never said anything else. I also asked how much longer I have to take the tablets before I can say they dont work...she said until my moods stabilised!!! HOW BLOODY USELESS ARE PEOPLE!?
So...new plan! The psychologist is hopefully going to call me today...Im going to go and see the GP on friday to get him to sort out the psychiatrist and to talk to him about DLA.
I mean she bloody asked me....

How do you feel?
Fine

How have you been these past weeks?
Fine

Are you still cutting?
No (this is a lie but previously she's gone on and on about the fact that Im not doing what she asks and that I cause trouble for people etc)

Have you got a job yet?
No (way to go to make a kid feel crap! Well done! As if I can actually get a job! she knows that!!!)

Have you had any thoughts of killing yourself?
*laugh* thats like asking me have I been showering regularly or something which you know I do! Of course I have!

How often?
Erm...stupid question...every day!? Look you said yourself you can't help me so why are you bothering with this? None of this is helping in any possible way is it? It's just recording what i tell you with no aims or anything!

Look I know hwat Im doing, you dont tell me my job, I never said that I cant help you. I dont want any confrontation with you. Im here to do my job.

Right fine then Im leaving. bye!


ARGH!!! IM SO ANGRY!!!!

Sorry Kat, I really don't know what to say.

Since we were just talking yesterday I thought I would add a comment.
Hope it is ok.Sorry if it is not helpful.
You have my sympathies at the very least.

Any chance you can request a good Psychologist instead of a
Psychiatrist to spend most of your clinical time with? They can be much better for sorting out problems and for reporting your medication effects and problems to the psychiatrist.
Depends on your system.
They are better at being people persons and with practical issues. They are more likely to be believed before the patient unfortunately. If you could get a good psychologist on your side it could be most helpful.

Good Luck - keep fighting and complaining about the medication if it is not working for you. It is good you are talking about it.

Yeah I do have a psychologist. She should be calling me tomorrow. Only problem is that I only just got her and so we're still doing all the "what's stuff like at home...what did you do when you were X age..." etc.

What I never understand is the amount of crap there is to go through and the fact that nobody ever gives any slack! I mean I can understand the need for these things but...your patient gets angry and is in tears and has not revealed anything whatsoever about the past two months...you let them walk out the door. How did she know I wasn't going to do something? As it was I burst into tears, came home and hid for ages before cutting and taking tablets before I realised it probably wasn't a great idea.

What about telling them you need crisis intervention?
Ae you afraid to risk a hospitalization?
I am not saying good or bad idea on that..

At the very least you need somebody to talk to about current practical issues or help finding somebody who will!
Licensed social workers who do therapy can be great listeners.

It is a sign of health to live in the moment!
I agree it is baffling why you cannot skip the past on "some" days in therapy. It seems unproductive at the moment but of course I am no therapists just been to them

If this has been a long road you probably know yourself rather well and may very well know what you need. I hope you get what you need and soon.

I will never be hospitalized!! HAHAHA!!! *waves poking stick of doom*

This is due to the fact that...I'm too special? I don't know. Last time I was wandering around completely and utterly on the verge of death I was taken to three doctors, one of whom was stupid, two of whom wanted me put in hospital. Neither could however due to there not being an adolescent unit in the area. So I was left to take my chances. I'm still here but it was a close thing.

I haven't a clue what I need, generally because I don't think there's anything wrong with me and I'm just being lazy and bumming around (true). This means I often forget things and don't understand why people are getting so stressed or anything with me. It also means that I have GREEAATTTT difficulty in keeping to appointments and taking tablets.

I need a shotgun

Awww Hun, this is so frustrating, I know. I have to go right now but I'll be back on later. s.

*sits around and waits for you to come back as sure you're going to say something interesting...possibly*

Kat, I came here via the ranting thread, and I just want to say that you have my sympathy! It must be so frustrating dealing with shrinks, and having to tell them everything that ever happened with your parents! If you are cutting yourself, then there *is* something wrong, though I don't know whether it's very serious or not. I am bothered that you think about killing yourself - you do need someone who cares a whole lot more than that psychiatrist evidently did! Please, do not do anything so drastic! It hurts the people left behind so much! I know when you get desperate, you can't think about that, but it does matter...

Don't choose the shotgun.

Breakdowns and hospitalizations are not always the worst things.
Sometimes you rise like the Phoenix.
Most times! IF you get the proper help.
.
It really s**** how little help there is.
For a while every other kid was in a clinic until it got too costly and even less effectivenill help once the insurance ran out. If you could get your medication straight I am sure it would be a blessing.

You certainly sound intelligent which can up yours odds of both frustration (bad)and getting yourself help (good).

There is something wrong and you know it.
Extreme swings , harming and daily thoughts of death need more attention than you are gettting.

Please hang on while giving em' hel* about how painful it is!

I came back a lot later and you must have gone to sleep. abbi's right, don't choose the shotgun. I know how you feel though. I probably wouldn't hurt myself with one but let's just say it's best for everyone that I don't have one.

It is frustrating that there is so little help and what there is is not very helpful. I hope you can find a psych you can stand and get your meds worked out. I know it can take a long time of trial and error. I hope you can stay safe till things settle down. And yes cutting does worry people a lot. Good night. See ya tomorrow.

It may seem like they're asking stupid questions at the time, but if you can, it's best to stick with it. They'll usually have a reason for asking things, even if it's just that they have to follow protocol. You'll benefit in the long term, if you can find someone who you trust to talk to.

And if you really feel that the psychiatrist was being useless or inappropriate, you can always complain to the Head of Department, or to the Primary Care Trust (assuming this is NHS treatment, yeah?)



Stay strong xx

Only problem is that I REEEEAAALLLYYY can't be bothered. I only just got up (12:00) and I'm only up to have a look at this and then I'm going back to bed. It seems wrong that I will have to do so much paperwork etc just for one small thing that half the time I don't think I need and the other half of the time don't want.
I'll see the doctor tomorrow and tell him about the psych. Hopefully he can write the letter for me and advice me on what to do.
I really can't be bothered though. It's been 9 months nearly since I've been out of school, I won't be going back in September, and I can't get a job. Where's the point in it all? I'm not being useful to anyone and I'm just being a burden to the people who care.

Oh, Kat. I have seen you around and haven't spoken to you before. You don't know me, and my opinion isn't worth much, but I hope you will not choose the shotgun.

You said: "Where's the point in it all? I'm not being useful to anyone and I'm just being a burden to the people who care."

I feel like that most of the time, even when outwardly I seem happy and things are going fine. I can relate to how that feels at the best of times, and how much worse it must feel right now.

I've had really bad times with shrinks, too, including my most recent one who would miss every other appointment because she "forgot" about me. It made me feel really sh*tty to think that I couldn't even pay someone to care. But there are people who care, and you are not useless or a burden to them, I can tell you that much.

Abbi and Hellbound, and everyone else, are right. Don't let some uncaring, insensitive shrink make you feel useless and worthless. They're the useless ones. You say exactly how you feel, scream and yell and raise as much hell as you have to until someone listens.

<>

No, Kat! You are not, and I can guarantee that they don't see you that way at all.

You can tell who the people are who really care, because they don't see you as a burden

Ahem...my mam cries about me 5 nights a week. My dad is lost in a world of denial and worry. Nick gets angry with me. My relatives either don't know or just want to know good things...everyone else is fed up of me and I have few friends left because they get frustrated that I'm not doing anything or "trying".

Now who doesn't see me as a burden in some way!?

Right I've got the doctor's in an hour and I'm shit scared and to top it all off I had a dream last night where every time I went outside some Hound of the Baskervilles type thing chased me.

People sometimes struggle to cope with the way other people are. That doesn't mean they don't care, and it doesn't mean you're a burden. It just means they're not used to people being like that.

That makes limited sense, but hopefully you can drag some sort of meaning out of it...

Anyway, I don't consider you a burden, and I'm sure no-one on this thread does either