h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd like to say this. Now is the time to get on my good side. I plan to take over the boards! MAybe. I suggest a bountiful harvest of jello molds and desserts.

I'd also like to reiterate, Super Bufanda is in a new space. So, Mills, I'm afraid you'll have to change things again. Sorry.

Damn you Ermine/Bufanda/Jacob! Moving your space about to fool me!

But you shall not conquer the boards, I'll dust off the old cne, frock coat and cravat and see you defeated you dog!

You will? Strange that, since you had departed to Skaro SIR Mike the Boards have fallen into disarray, chaos, anarchy- it's like a Canon discussion taking place!

No doubt you will require some help in this and seeing as I'm the only one about... I might step in to stop this fiendish threast manipulated by this master-maker of mayhem!

A Perilous Polecat behind myriad masks! Send forth Nimble Nibbles and he'll stop this unstoppable force of fright, clean out the septic tank and eat all the crackers in the Boards.

I'll be about in the Imperial Tower if you require my Services.

Yours Sincerely

Graf Von Corruptus.

Masked Ermine: SO you think you can stop me! WEll, I guess you can. But not with out a lot of colateral damage.

(runs to a giant blimp shaped like a badger. Nibbles tries to get at him but Masked Ermine hits him with a Mustelid hypno-beam...)

Masked Ermine: (hypno-voice) Yes! Nibbles come with me, your kin, these fools will only drag you down, down, come with me and be supreme ruler of Qanda....

(Nibbles, shakes the Masked Ermine's hand and they both ascend the gangplank to the blimp and they both start to laugh maniacally.)

Lord Mike: Oh dang, I think we're in trouble Rich.... Where'd you go?

(Lord Mike's cell phone rings.)
Tempus: I'm in my castle you idiot!

Lord Mike: I see...

Tempus: (sighs) Come on over... Drat now I'll have to vaccuum....

I apologise my good chap, but my departure to Planet Skaro has not been total. Oh no, I have been patrolling the boards constantly, hiding in the shadows as they say. I have made several posts but no one seems to pay much attention. There was a time when my very name was greeted with cries of "Yay!", "We're saved!" and "Oh no, not that Welsh git again". Oh deary me...

P.S. What's all this about calling me SIR Mike?

Nothing personal SIR Mike but to acknowledge one's future is to acknowledge your past. Learn from that and better yourself, back in your younger years I bet you as every body able as Sir Lance but without the dimness!

As for the Boards, no doubt you've seen the new streetlamps I've deployed to lighten the Boards as they approach Midnight and during that time not a silhouette of your enigmatic form has permeated into being.
As for the few posts people have lost their hearts, no Sir Lance, Lady Marian or Nibbles to stop evil, no defend or back you up. They have fallen victim to a new kind of evil, no corny jokes or elaborate scripting can save them from real villainy.

The Boards need a hero, someone who can lead the fight against Evil, the forces of darkness are building, the hope is dimishing, like Gandalf you fell to Skaro but will you come back at the turning of the tide?

There will be no dawn for us if the Dark Lord Llort destroys all peace!

Indeed, like Arthur's Knights I will reappear at the Boards hour of greatest need

But what if the hour of our greatest need plummets just in time for you to arrive? And what if you can't login? I could try and group them all together into the far distant fort of Audio but as you know there's no where else they could go.- They would be TRAPPED!

Hmm

If you like just to make sure you make a bold impression I could push you off the edge of the Boards in a cataclysmic showdown where you appear to loose all your grand superior class. As you fall, the Hon, the nobility, the canes and cravates slip away as you fall into shadow...

THEN You appear dressed in silver- BLINDING SUIT! LORD MIKE THE ENIGMATIC has returned!


Blimey! He's back from yonder dead- he's not human I tell yee!

Alright but only if the silver suit has a cravat!