h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The last time we met, Super Bufanda was powerless against the will of the Dark Avenger. He was strung up and quite rudely tortured..

"The game is up," called The Dark Avenger, "give in."

Super Bufanda, now quite bloody and bruised, coughing and not looking well at all, "Never," he erupted into a paraxosysm of coughes, "You have no control over me..."

The Dark Avenger, "Really, I was the one that brought you here, I think I have quite a lot of power over you..."

Suddenly, there is a crashing sound. Three figures run into the throne room. It's Super Bufanda's comrades, Captain Phenomenal, Gooseman and the ever fresh and beautiful Super Jinkies.

"What is this!?" roared The Dark Avenger.

"It is, said Captain Phenomenal, " a rescue."

"So are you going to give up easily, or are we going to have to muss our hair?" said Super Jinkies, who was wearing a nice wide brimmed fedorah, "or our hats.."

Gooseman looked up at Super Jinkies, "I'm always up for the mussing of hair."

Super Jinkies shot Gooseman an evil, malevolent look.

"No, giving up won't do," said the Dark Avenger as he leveled his mystical staff at the heroes,

"No!" Screamed Super Bufanda struggling against his bindings.....

To be Continued...........

Suddenly, something welled up in Super Bufanda. A strength raged through his veins that hadn't been there in several days. He strained against the ties that were binding him and ripped himself away from the wall.

As the bindings broke away Captain Phenomenal tossed a folded up stretch of cloth at Super Bufanda...

"My scarf!" He yelled snatching it out of the air.

The Avenger turned to look at this time just in time to see Super Bufanda barreling towards him. The Dark Avenger turned and fired. Bufanda was hit at point blank range.......

Super Bufanda fell back, quite stunned. He felt the burn wound where the burst of heat had struck and turned his skin into some sort of wormy mess.

"Super Bufanda!" screamed Super Jinkies as she rushed to him.

The Dark Avenger slipped away through a secret passage, the other two heroes gave chase.

"I think I tripped..." smiled Super Bufanda.

"Yes, yes," smiled Super Jinkies teary eyed. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, why are you crying?" asked Super Bufanda. "why do I have this burning sensation in my chest?"

"You were shot by one those unreality burst things,"said Super Jinkies as she started to cry.

"Oh, this. It's not as bad as it looks," said Super Bufanda calmly trying to get his arm around her shoulder to comfort her. "Shh, shh, it'll take a lot more than a cowled fool to kill me...."

"Bufanda, are you ok?" asked Super Jinkies as Super Bufanda starts to cough horribly. "Simon? Are you ok, Simon?

Super Bufanda coughes harder, a reddish fluid starts to flow from his nose.

"Oh dear, I think I've broken a blood vessel," commented Super Bufanda quietly, almost whispering.

"Here Simon," Super Jinkies takes off her hat and reaches in a gets a tissue.

"Thank you, Jinkies," gasps Super Bufanda.

"Oh, damn you. You can't do this! Too many people depend on you, for you to do this!" Cried Super Jinkies hysterically.

"Do what? Bleed even heroes bleed that's what makes them heroes!" Retorted Super Bufanda weakly.

"No, you know you're dying?" Cried Super Jinkies.

"Hmm, I didn't know I was dying, who told you?" smiled Super Bufanda.

"Damn it, can;t you...."

Super Bufanda put his hand on her lips, "I've always wanted to do this, but was always too frightened to," He props himself up on his elbow and kisses Super Jinkies, "I've always been smitten with you."

"Oh, my, why didn't...,Started Super JInkies. She gasps as Super Bufanda's eyes close. "Simon! No, don't give up!"

His eyes open flutteringly, "'One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. I'll be better, purer and over all nicer."

He eye lids fold quietly and his head drops back. Super Jinkies catches his head in her arms and holds him close to her. The other two return.

"The Dark Avenger, slipped away from us, oh my....," said Gooseman.

Super Jinkies laid Super Bufanda's head on the ground and walked over to the others, they tried to console her.

Suddenly, a little spark of light caught Captain Phenomenal's eye, "Oh, my...."

Super Jinkies turned and gasped, "Oh, I can't believe it!"

Gooseman, "Well, that's something new...."

Suddenly a voice spoke out, "Oh my I think something drastic has happened...."