h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm so d**ned depressed. I know it's because I miss home, ie I'm homesick. I'm at college and I feel so depressed I can't even eat, though that may be a good thing, I hate it here, well, maybe not hate, but I thoroughly dislike it here. No, I don't hate this place just the feelings that get conjured up when I'm here, and my mother's e-mails only make it worse. I'm a Freshman in college in case you didn't notice. I'm just in a funk. I know Lissa goes to an American college, were you ever this depressed? This funk has even cut my post rates, you'll have noticed that I've only been posting to the Outpost Gallifrey Survivor thread. I should really look into getting a off campus job or something just so that I feel I'm contributing something. I don't how long I keep up the stiff upper lip; I may need to go to the counselor I don't know. I woke up the last three mornings thinking to myself, "My God, what am I doing here? I can't do this it's far too much!"

I can't make friends here, too worried about making a fool of myself. I don't drink or anything else, and I know there is plenty to do here other than that but Christ I feel so goody two shoes here and everyone else feels so corrupt... That didn't come out right I know but that's how I feel I can't seem to latchon to people as others can. I guess I've always been a bit of a loner never really ever had any true blue friends just sort skirted the outside of popular society. Hell I haven't even had a purposeful relationshipand now they want me to make a whole new bunch of friends that are my age!? I can't do it I don't have the savy the strength I do a lot better with older people, teachers, librarians, ect. I never have got along with my generation... God I've got a lot of self pity in me! If you will just bare with me. It kind of feels good to get this out.

I now wished I'd gone to the Community College and commuted from home. THis college isn't even that big. THe biggest class I have has seventy people in it. I think I'm sick. I don't know about any of this I'm just drained so badly, emotionally ; I can't even crack a smile at some of your guys' posts though I know they're probably hysterical; I think I've lost it, you may or may not see me for a while.........

Poor Super!

Yes, I'm at an American college, but I don't live here. I commute every day from my house, which is about a half-hour away.

I did have some problems when I started going here. I felt that I didn't belong, and that everything was terrible! Maybe I don't belong, but I've gotten over this somewhat.

I have a friend, though, who goes to University of Chicago and lives there. She is somewhat out of place as well, but there are also some nice people she can be friends with.

As for me, I haven't made any real friends here. I guess it's just because I'm very different from them. I don't know. I know exactly what you mean. I'm just too shy and it doesn't work.

I also know what you mean about being "goody two shoes". That's me also, and I'm sure it feels very corrupt for you.

If it's really bad, you can always leave school and go home. That's always an option. Maybe you could go to another college. Where do you go by the way?

Personally, all this has been quite a problem for me as well. In fact, it is one of the things that made me decide to go to a different college next year: a really good Catholic one. At least I will fit in there, even though it's so far away.

I feel very sorry for you indeed, really I do. And if I'm not offending you by saying it, I'll pray for you.

Keep in touch. Retreating into your own self will only make things worse. Talking about it can help. I'll always be around somewhere, and if you want my e-mail address, I can give it to you. Just let me know if I can help at all.

Lissa

I go to Buena Vista University, like I said it's a really small school but it's infinitely bigger than the high school I went to, I'm from Iowa and the high school I went to had thirty in its graduation class. Today they had work study sign up and I'm going to work in the library too, that is until they kick me out! I may really need to talk to someone sometime, you know family and friends are really expecting me to do this and I feel that I can't run home with my tail between my legs. God, I feel wishy washy all the time, though today it was better. Oh have you looked on the Lord Mike saga site Marian trying to drum up a celebratory story so every one should pitch in. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. Psst, did I mention that my school is on a non-industrial lake Woo hoo! Thanks Lissa

P.S. Sorry I was all pity party I just couldn't fight it any more, and now I feel kind of guilty about unloading on people.

Oh and my email address is on my space.

Hello Super!

I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today. However, don't ever EVER feel guilty about telling other people your problems. What else are friends for, if they won't listen when you need to talk? I've done it myself sometimes, and it almost always makes me feel much better at least to get it out of my system.

This may sound stupid, but where is Buena Vista University? I'm afraid I know the colleges in the area and a few others, but I'm lost otherwise.

Well, even if everyone is expecting you to do this, you can always transfer after a semester or two. That wouldn't be running away, and it would be worth it if there was anywhere else you would rather go.

I was in a hurry yesterday when I replied to you, so I couldn't say as much as I wanted. Let me tell you about how I constantly feel at school.

I go into a class and see all these people, some of whom look very nice, but much older and more confident than I do. I sit quietly in the back and hope no one notices me, not saying anything unless I have to. Sometimes I smile at people, and sometimes (though not always) they will smile back, but I can never manage to get a conversation going at all. I always feel like an outsider, and there doesn't seem to be any way for me to get in.

Even the few people I know (the closest thing I have to friends here) don't talk to me very much. Outside of class, I never see them. Sometimes I want to meet people and just can't. When I do meet people, I never manage to actually be friends with them. I don't know what's wrong with me, because (if I'm not too shy) I can make friends at my church and places like that. Anyway...

My appearance doesn't help me much either. I am very little (5'2") and I look as if I'm fourteen. So I sit in there with everyone else and feel so young and useless.

It's strange, but this is the first time I have talked quite so much about this. Mind you, I am not looking for sympathy or trying to depress you, I'm just trying to show you that you aren't the only one with these problems. Really, I'm alright, especially with all these computers!

I'm glad you're working in a library; I like that myself. What are you going to do there exactly? Currently, I work in both reference and ciruclation, but at different times, of course.

My school is even smaller than yours, I think. The biggest classes here have around twenty people in them. What classes are you taking? I have to switch a lot of mine around today, which should be great fun. Oh yes, indeed.

Yes, I saw Marian's story, but not any of the replies. I'll have to go do that.

Don't worry about talking about your problems. Sometimes it can help a great deal.

I'll send you my address then, so you will have it if you need to talk or something.

Lissa

Well well let's see, hmm, do you have a map of Iowa handy? If so look for a town called Storm Lake zipcode 50588 and that's where Buena Vista is. THings are starting to come together though. I still don't quite feel comfortable around my one room mate and the other one is a little annoying, but things are getting better. I was going to reply sooner but I got sucked into a Risk game. I hate that game but I couldn't be a fuddy duddy. (How do like the vernacular? ) THank you for talking to me; it feels wonderful to get it off my chest. You understand that you are absolutely beatiful and wonderful, right, no matter your heighth. If I was at your school I'd talk to you right away, well, that is if I wasn't so shy. I am taking Biology and Chemistry and Interim to Spanish. As well as the labs that go with the science classes. I suppose your taking literary classes, if your not feel free to correct me. We signed up for clubs last night I signed up for the Science Club, might meet some one there. Now that ribble rabble and what not is over I'd just like to say that the saga goes forward even though Lance and Steven have tried to highjack it! Quickly to the BBCi boards Woohoo!

Oh dear, I just got your reply, but must now run off to try to fix my silly paper thing. I'll write a proper reply when I can.

Lissa

Hello there!

I only have a few minutes, but I should be able to at least say something by then.



I'm glad things are getting better. It must be very hard to have roommates. Other than my little sister (7 years old) sleeping in my room occasionally, I've had my own room for years. And it must be much more difficult with people you don't know.

I'll look up Storm Lake when I get a chance. If I can't find it on a map, I'm sure there is something on the internet.

Well, thank you very much for the compliments! My my, I wasn't expecting that. It is very nice of you to say that you would talk to me right away if we were at the same school. Thank you. I sometimes wish I knew someone here pretty well. Most of my friends are now online, and living in England! Odd, I think...

I think that signing up for the Science Club is a very good idea. You could meet someone you liked there.

You're certainly taking a lot of science, aren't you? I was taking chemistry, but decided to drop it in favour of Beginning German. I thought it would be fun.

It's funny you should say that you think I am taking literary classes. You see, I came into college fully intending to take lot of them, but it didn't work out. I'll tell you about it later, but right now I must run. I have to get to my voice lesson.

Right now I'm taking French 313, German 101, and Music Theory III, as well as flute and voice lessons.

I'll see you later, and it's very nice to talk to you as well!

Lissa

Ooh, foriegn languages! I'm not much for foreign languages, but then again you're probably not into sciency stuff, so que sera sera. I'm majoring in Biology; I kind of want to be a teacher. I start at the library tomorrow, there going to see what I'm assigned to do then, wish me luck, have a nice voice lesson and I'll talk to you later!

No, I don't much like science myself. It just isn't my "thing" I guess. Strangely enough, I love foreign languages. I did two years and two college semesters of French (am now on my third), learned Latin for at least four years, taught myself a bit of Italian over the summer, and am now starting German.

Good luck tomorrow with your job! I was really scared about mine at first, but I was really alright and receiving commendations by the end of last year. Don't worry about it.

It must be nice to do what you want to do for a job. I have problems in that area myself. All I have are impractical ideas which could easily not work out.

My voice lesson was great by the way. My teacher is so nice, and I just love singing!

I must go home now. Good luck with everything until I get back on the computer tomorrow!

Lissa