h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Time to make my mind up, twist or stick, double or bust and all that Jazz. My dilemma: safe security or go for hopeless insanity and chaos?
No doubt it will be chaos in the long run, isn't that what it always boils down too?
Philosophy over, back to work...

Eeeps. Strayshift/Gordon, we don't know each other, but you, are you thrashing about tween chaos and security? Hmmm. This is a subject dear to my heart. In fact, a little too dear, demmed expensive if you ask me. Coincidentally, I also am seemingly asked to choose; are they mutually exclusive? In most cases, you bet your sweet noggin they are. If you're hoist on your own petard onto the horns of a dilemma, (ouw) I would be happy to know how you see these things.
Yes, Life is bigger.
Andmymare/Lynda

Lynda I suppose it would be best defined as a safe and reasonable second best or a ludicrously long and difficult shot at what would be a resounding first best. What do I do? Live life I suppose... Now what's your take on your dilemma?

Wull, to pare it down: My beginning to write poetry on purpose came on the heels of a manic episode. Never had one before, not had one since, but it's effects have been faaar reaching. Erm, the way my mind works for writing, is not the way my mind works for the "business" of life. It is much more like falling in love, or, ah, receiving ideas. No I don't hear voices, but that's the only way I can explain it. It is a confusing joy. Long story short, I've quite bunged up the rest of my life (filial piety, marriage, house stuff, fambly etc).
To top it all off, it is like sorting poppy seeds to try to figure out "what's goin' on" as menopause can mimic bipolar diseasee can mimic just finding your voice can mimic being an awful selfish bastard, etc.
So. I've been offered the opportunity (and that's calling a wolf a lamb) to sort of get sorted, medically, herbally, counselling bla bla. I'm sorry but I'm impatient with the whole subject.
So my dilemma is do I make everyone else much much happier, and perhaps sacrifice this wonderful "monster"/ after all I do love the people in my life and computer time does cost money and the garden didin't get done this year because of me predilection.
I realize it might not turn out to be "either/or" so this may differ vastly from your choices. But it sure feels like abandoning the best zeal I've had for life, EVER, barring of course, relationships, which always have been and will probably remain my, ehm, chosen field of endeavor.
Does this make ANY sense at all to you? I intuit you're lookin at an employment change or what?
Answer if you like, otherwise I'll just read and listen from afar with great interest.
Lynda

Lynda,
Have happen to have chanced upon my sort of line of work here, check out one of my current employer's on www.redcarcareforum.org.uk for some of my work.
My only advice to you is learn about this DON'T limit it to labels and follow the course which you feel happiest with. People fear chaos and change but this is part of you and if you can manage/live with it - reap the benefits.
Thank you for such frank honesty.
I can only say on the subject of my life is no work isn't the issue, It's more a 'relationship' thing and a folly really on my part but I have always followed my heart in such things (we have to the best of my knowledge, but one life) and this is exacerbated by a recent cancer scare I had. I want to be creative and happy for the rest of the days I have, not financially secure and hating myself.
I am still learning about writing but loving it and I reckon I'll be halfway decent in 4-5 years time once I've to some degree mastered the technique.
Your strong point is inspiration and not many people have that, a lot though have technique. If you can develop/manage yourself as a writer you will be really strong.
Have faith,
Gordon.