h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Day After - one year on

I suppose it's time to sort out some of the mess, the ambiguity of last year, of actually working if only for a short while, of having money, of losing weight (which I haven't put back on). All those feelings that people have a year on.

This started on 7th July 2005 and you know what happened that day. While I was shocked and mourned the loss of life, I was relieved that family and friends had not been caught in those devastating events. (Yes I'm talking about the London bombings.) What worried me the most was just how was I going to get to Wembly if the tube or the trains weren't running.

It seemed important (at the time) that I attend the graduation ceremony of two friends of mine. It seemed to me that not to go would have played into the hands of whoever was responsible and they would have won. And they were not going to win. Silly isn't it, as if one journey made by one very insignificant person would have changed anything. But I made the journey.

The graduation ceremonies were being held at the Wembly Conference Centre and the ceremony that I was attending started at 10.30 am and I had to buy a ticket. This meant I had to be there by 9.00 am and that meant rush-hour travel.

Made the station in good time and got my train to Liverpool Street. I sat close to the front and fully expected the coach to fill as we travelled closer to London. It didn't. A lot of people stayed home it seems and the train just wasn't as crowded as it would have been any other day.

We arrive at Liverpool Street and the concourse is just as uncrowded as the train. The Underground concourse is even emptier. The train I had to catch left the west bound platform.

Walking down the steps to the platform I saw soft strands, wisps of smoke. You know the type of wisps that get caught in corners after you've burnt the toast and then ventilated the kitchen. On seeing these wisps it occurred to me where they had come from. It broke my heart.

The journey to Oxford Circus was uneventful but for one thing. For that time in the morning the carriages were strangely not full. For all that had happened the day before I had thought that there would have been more people travelling. One small side note a young Muslim girl got on. I knew she was Muslim because she was in full dress. I think two decisions were made that morning. On the young girl's part, she was going to work not matter who would try to stop her. And mine was to protect her should anybody do anything stupid. She got off about three stops later.

The journey to Wembley was uneventful, the graduation ceremony good. But the journey home was stranger. I felt here was me having made this journey across London and back and somebody should … well take note of it. This had been a heroic journey. An Act of Defiance. To top it all off I totally disagreed with the reporters' comments about people who were travelling that day.

I have tried to tell this story but first time it was the weekend and this time it wasn't news worthy. But it is. It is the story of someone who made several decisions and some of them were very hard. It takes hard work not to be afraid, which is why that website took off. It takes hard work not to blame all and sundry for what happened. It takes hard work to forgive someone/some people for the crimes, acts of horror and terror. It takes hard work every day.

How do I feel, the day after - a year on? Do I feel any safer? Do I still feel shock and anger? Do I … ? Have I sorted out anything? I am unsure. I know that for me, those who corrupt in such a manner, who use violence in such a manner I will fight against. If that means making a journey the day after, then that's what I'll do. As for the rest, like working towards understanding, accepting, getting along all the intangibles that affect everyday - I'm working on it.

To the families of the 52 - peace be with you. Pax vobiscum.